The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

To Tell or Not to Tell (1961)

Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Rob Petrie : What is he talking about?

  Sally Rogers : I don't know, but you know him - behind every silver lining, he finds the cloud.

• Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell : Rob, listen to me, the first week that you get off, take Laura for a skiing trip.

  Rob Petrie : Skiing? What for? Laura can't ski. Heh, she'd break her leg.

  Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell : Yeah! Boy, you catch on fast!

• [Uable to cook dinner, Rob serves bananas] 

  Ritchie Petrie : Daddy?

  Rob Petrie : Hmm?

  Ritchie Petrie : When's Mommy coming home?

  Rob Petrie : Soon, Rich. Why?

  Ritchie Petrie : I like Mommy's banana's better.

• Rob Petrie : Well, I think I know my wife well enough to hope that she'll say what I know she thinks that I hope she'll say.

• Rob Petrie : Look Buddy, I know my wife. I didn't twist her arm to make her give up dancing. She wanted to. She wanted to be a wife and a mother. and for your information, in all the years we've been married, I have never heard her say she was sorry either.

  Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell : Till last night.

  Rob Petrie : She didn't say she was sorry last night.

  Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell : Maybe not with her mouth, but with every other part of her.

• Rob Petrie : Out, out

  Delivery Boy : Hey, can I say something?

  Rob Petrie : What?

  Delivery Boy : [looks at Laura in her leotards]  Va va va voom!

• Rob Petrie : Honey now go put some clothes on!

  Laura Petrie : Darling, these are just leotards. You've seen me wear them before.

  Rob Petrie : I know. I have, but he hasn't. Now put this on.

  [Rob takes off his jacket and wraps it around Laura] 

  Laura Petrie : Rob, this is silly. All the girls wear them for rehearsal.

  Rob Petrie : Those girls are girls. That's different. You are a married woman.

  Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell : Not today, brother. Today, she's a girl girl.

  Delivery Boy : Yeah!