- Rob Petrie: You uhny uftzed me.
- Buddy Sorrell: Rob, I've done a lot of rotten things in my life. I never uhny uftzed anybody.
- Mel Cooley: [seeing Rob standing on his shoulders] What's he doing?
- Buddy Sorrell: He was walkin' on the ceiling and he fell off.
- Rob Petrie: [consulting a psychiatrist] What I'm trying to say is I really saw a flying saucer.
- Dr. Phil Ridley: You did?
- Rob Petrie: Yeah. Whadda ya think? Am I crazy?
- Dr. Phil Ridley: Well, who's to say what's crazy?
- Rob Petrie: Well, heh... can't you? I mean, all... everybody I've told about it...
- Dr. Phil Ridley: Rob, you want to tell me all about it?
- Rob Petrie: Well, look, I wanna pay for it.
- Dr. Phil Ridley: Oh, don't be crazy.
- [Rob is, again, alone in the office well after hours when...]
- Voice: Uhny Uftz.
- Rob Petrie: I didn't hear that.
- Voice: Uhny Uftz.
- Rob Petrie: I didn't hear that, either.
- Voice: Uhny Uftz.
- Rob Petrie: I heard that.
- Voice: Uhny Uftz.
- Rob Petrie: [listening door to door for the source of the alien voice] It's not in the men's room.
- Buddy Sorrell: No?
- Voice: Uhny Uftz. Uhny Uftz.
- Rob Petrie: Not in the ladies room.
- Buddy Sorrell: See if they got one marked "Creatures."
- Rob Petrie: [Rob has just reported a UFO] She knew exactly what I was talking about. She was afraid to say anything because there was somebody listening in.
- Laura Petrie: Who?
- Rob Petrie: I don't know who, but I know darn well I heard more than one person laughing.
- Rob Petrie: What are you sneaking around in here for?
- Buddy Sorrell: I always sneak around in empty buildings! You think I want somebody to hear me?
- Rob Petrie: I *must* have been asleep. It seemed so *real*.
- Voice: Uhny Uftz.
- Buddy Sorrell: Boy, you dream real good.
- Rob Petrie: It's gotta be a dream. How could a flying saucer get in a ventilator?
- Voice: Uhny Uftz.
- Buddy Sorrell: I-I heard it, too.
- Rob Petrie: How do I know I'm not dreamin' YOU?