The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

Washington vs. the Bunny (1961)

Richard Deacon: Mel Cooley

Quotes 

• Melvin (Mel) Cooley : Rob, I did not come here to get insulted.

  Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell : Oh? Where do you usually go to get insulted? I'll go anyplace!

• Melvin (Mel) Cooley : [to Rob]  Well, there's a young girl singer making her debut on a local Washington station tomorrow, and Alan would like you to go there and do some talent scouting.

  Rob Petrie : Sure, I'd love to go.

  Melvin (Mel) Cooley : Ah, fine.

  Rob Petrie : Hey, wait a minute, tomorrow morning is bad for me. How about the next day?

  Melvin (Mel) Cooley : Oh, I'm afraid not. No, every TV station in town is gonna be sending a... a scout down there, and we don't want them to beat us to the punch.

  Rob Petrie : Oh, yeah. How about letting Buddy go?

  Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell : Yeah, how about letting Buddy go?

  Melvin (Mel) Cooley : We want an opinion we can respect.

• Melvin (Mel) Cooley : Rob, I hope I'm not disturbing you.

  Rob Petrie : No, not at all, Mel.

  Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell : Speak for yourself, Rob. I can't even drink coffee with Goldilocks around; curdles the cream.