The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

Where You Been, Fassbinder? (1962)

Richard Deacon: Mel Cooley

Quotes 

• Mel Cooley : Oh, Sally, that reminds me, there was a fella here earlier looking for you.

  Sally Rogers : You didn't let him get away, did ya?

  Mel Cooley : Well, you weren't here.

  Sally Rogers : Well, what's his name?

  Mel Cooley : Why, I didn't catch it.

  Sally Rogers : Well, did he leave a number?

  Mel Cooley : No, but he said you probably wouldn't know him.

  Sally Rogers : Well, did he leave a note?

  Mel Cooley : No.

  Sally Rogers : A fingerprint? A laundry mark? A shaving lotion smell? SOMETHING!

  Mel Cooley : Nothing. I'm sorry, Sally.

  Sally Rogers : Ah, that's all right, Mel. I'm only kidding. I'm not that desperate, yet. But, listen, if he comes back, tie him to a chair.

  Mel Cooley : Sure.

• Mel Cooley : Good morning.

  Buddy Sorrell : It was till YOU got here.

  Mel Cooley : Rob, I don't like coming here and having insults thrown at me.

  Buddy Sorrell : Stay home; I'll phone 'em over to you.

  Mel Cooley : [to Buddy]  Look, I'm getting fed up...!

  Buddy Sorrell : Pretty obvious, fatso. What time's the balloon go up?