- Ritchie Petrie: Where's YOUR husband?
- Sally Rogers: Uh, mine? I haven't got one.
- Ritchie Petrie: Why don't you get one?
- Rob & Laura: [together] Say goodnight, Ritchie.
- Ritchie Petrie: [swiftly carried off to bed] Byyyyyyye!
- Laura Petrie: Now, you men don't seem to realize that when a woman reaches a certain age, and is unmarried, every birthday becomes a milestone, and every milestone is a millstone. Now I have a feeling Sally isn't gonna wait till Friday to do her crying. I think she's gonna do it tonight. And we're responsible.
- Rob Petrie: WE are? What did WE do?
- Laura Petrie: We went and had a baby that grew up to be a six-year-old big mouth.
- Rob Petrie: Honey, what makes you think she was so upset by it?
- Laura Petrie: Because I'm a woman.
- Rob Petrie: What! You're... You're a woman? My gosh... My father married one of those!
- Mel Cooley: Oh, Sally, that reminds me, there was a fella here earlier looking for you.
- Sally Rogers: You didn't let him get away, did ya?
- Mel Cooley: Well, you weren't here.
- Sally Rogers: Well, what's his name?
- Mel Cooley: Why, I didn't catch it.
- Sally Rogers: Well, did he leave a number?
- Mel Cooley: No, but he said you probably wouldn't know him.
- Sally Rogers: Well, did he leave a note?
- Mel Cooley: No.
- Sally Rogers: A fingerprint? A laundry mark? A shaving lotion smell? SOMETHING!
- Mel Cooley: Nothing. I'm sorry, Sally.
- Sally Rogers: Ah, that's all right, Mel. I'm only kidding. I'm not that desperate, yet. But, listen, if he comes back, tie him to a chair.
- Mel Cooley: Sure.
- Sally Rogers: Do you like boiled octopus?
- Leo Fassbinder: No.
- Sally Rogers: Good, 'cause we got baked lasagna.
- Sally Rogers: I've got all the advantages of marriage: I got a tea kettle that whistles, a parrot that talks too much and a cat that stays out all night. Who needs a husband?
- Mel Cooley: Good morning.
- Buddy Sorrell: It was till YOU got here.
- Mel Cooley: Rob, I don't like coming here and having insults thrown at me.
- Buddy Sorrell: Stay home; I'll phone 'em over to you.
- Mel Cooley: [to Buddy] Look, I'm getting fed up...!
- Buddy Sorrell: Pretty obvious, fatso. What time's the balloon go up?
- [the gang gathers for Sally's surprise birthday party]
- Pickles Sorrell: What're you gonna give her, Laura?
- Laura Petrie: Well, I got her some perfume.
- Buddy Sorrell: Perfume for Sally?
- Laura Petrie: Mm-hm.
- Rob Petrie: What's a matter with that?
- Buddy Sorrell: Well, nothin' except it'll make my snakes look cheep.
- Rob Petrie: Boy, it's gettin' late. Mel said he'd meet us as soon as he got outta the barber shop.
- Buddy Sorrell: Baldy in a barber shop? What's he doing, reminiscing?
- Leo Fassbinder: Ah, little Sally Rogers... You know, in all these years you haven't changed a bit?
- Sally Rogers: Well, neither have you. Well, what else should we lie about?