Penn Badgley: Joel Larsen

Quotes 

• Joel Larsen : [about Isabelle's date]  He cheats on her.

  Pat Brody : [shocked]  What? When?

  Joel Larsen : I-I don't remember, I just remember Isabelle was devastated. It broke her heart.

  Pat Brody : What do we do about it?

  Joel Larsen : Well, when they were going out, we acted like our jealous, petty selves, and then when he dumped her, we said "I told you so."

  Pat Brody : Good, we'll do the same thing again.

  Joel Larsen : No! No, this time we're gonna stop it before it happens! Nobody messes with our girl!

  Pat Brody : [enthusiastic]  Right!

  [unenthusiastic] 

  Pat Brody : Damn!

  Joel Larsen : What?

  Pat Brody : I really wanted to see Xanadu.

• Isabelle Meyers : Dave is my first real boyfriend. You guys should be happy for me.

  Joel Larsen : We just don't wanna see you get hurt.

  Isabelle Meyers : Stop worrying! Dave and I are doing great. Do you know what he calls me? Hisabelle. Get it? His - Isabelle - Hisabelle! Isn't that so cute?

  [Joel and Pat are looking at each other, not thinking that is very cute] 

  Isabelle Meyers : I really need to get some girlfriends.

• Pat Brody : [about Dave]  Do you think we can take him?

  Joel Larsen : Maybe for frozen yogurt. But in a fight, we die.

• Joel Larsen : Pat, something has to be done.

  Pat Brody : Well, you already tried to change the race. Now you just gotta have to change Bill.

  Joel Larsen : I've been trying to change him for twenty years. Now I have 'til Saturday!

• Joel Larsen : I'm dropping out.

  Bill Larsen : No, you're not! This race means everything. You're doing it, and that's all there is to it.

  Joel Larsen : For god's sake, it's a stupid three-legged race! Who cares if we win? You're so damn competitive, you always have to be right! Nobody wants to be around a person like that.

  Bill Larsen : Hey! Hey...

  Joel Larsen : No! You may not realize it, because you're in your own little world, but you're driving everyone away! That's why you won the basketball game, that's why I don't play golf with you anymore when you retire, and it's why you end up old and alone!

  [tries to leave, but is stopped by the rope that ties their legs together] 

  Joel Larsen : Damn common leg!

• Isabelle Meyers : Go ahead, tell me "I told you so."

  Joel Larsen : No, we would never say that. Come on. There might be something we can do to make you feel better.

  Isabelle Meyers : I doubt it.

  Joel Larsen : Trust me.

  Joel : [voice over]  I think what hurt Isabelle more than catching Dave, was that we weren't there for her the first time around.

  Isabelle Meyers : [while ruining Dave's locker stuff]  You know what? This does make me feel better.

  Pat Brody : I told you so.

  Isabelle Meyers : You two are the best girlfriends. So how was the block party?

  Joel Larsen : Great! I broke your dad's nose.