- Louisa Glasson: I heard you on the radio.
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: Oh. Which time?
- Louisa Glasson: Does it matter?
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: Yes, some were more painful than others.
- Louisa Glasson: Really?
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: No, they were all awful.
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: Well, Caroline, it seems to me you have about a thousand locals who do nothing but talk about themselves. Why don't you interview one of them?
- Jean: What did you see in him at interview?
- Louisa Glasson: Don't blame me, only one of my eyes was working.
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: Elaine. It is *not* your job to give medical advice over the telephone.
- Elaine Denham: It was bellyache. That's not medical advice, it's common sense.
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: Can *I* please decide who comes to my surgery?
- Elaine Denham: No.
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: No?
- Elaine Denham: If they have bellyache or diarrhoea, I have them wait. If they've got something serious I get them in straight away.
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: Thank you, I'm familiar with triage.
- Elaine Denham: Right, so I want an apology. If is wasn't for me you'd have had a dozen diarrhoeas since yesterday.
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: How many?
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: You know, when I told my father that I wasn't going to follow him into the navy, we didn't speak for three months.
- Bert Large: Yeah, but now you're older, you can understand his point, can't you? I mean, that's what I was trying to say to Al.
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: No, we still don't speak actually.
- Caroline Bosman: [interviewing the Doc on the radio] What was your first impression of our village?
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: It's windy.
- Caroline Bosman: And the people?
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: The people?
- Caroline Bosman: The people of Portwenn.
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: What about them?
- Caroline Bosman: Well, the people of Portwenn are a rich and diverse culture - I bet you've been struck by certain individuals?
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: It's early days yet.
- Dr. Martin Ellingham: Have you noticed an increased demand for diarrhoea remedies lately?
- Mrs. Tishell: Yes - in fact you could say there's been a *run* on them.