- Drake Parker: It seems we have a-a-a serious gas leak here in the Drake & Josh Inn.
- Sheet Man: Oh, uh, sorry. I think that was me.
- [with their parents away, Drake and Josh are in charge]
- Megan Parker: Listen... to ME. You get on ONE of my nerves this weekend, and you'll both wake up tomorrow morning very confused in Cuba.
- [Josh keeps the phone away from Megan by shoving it down his pants]
- Josh Nichols: Now, you may have the phone back AFTER we talk to you.
- Megan Parker: I wouldn't want that phone back if I were dying on the kitchen floor.