- Mr. Nichols: [needing a last minute birthday gift for Audrey] Uh, I don't know. Get her... get her some toothpaste. She's always using toothpaste!
- Josh Nichols: Dad, there's two-hundred dollars here.
- Mr. Nichols: Well, g... get her some mouthwash, too! I'M JUST A MAN!
- Drake Parker: [after losing money to Megan at darts] No way. You just hustled me!
- Megan Parker: No, I didn't. I just pretended to be bad so that you'd bet me, and then I stopped being bad and I took your money!
- Drake Parker: That's hustling!
- Megan Parker: There's a word for it?
- [taking Drake's money]
- Megan Parker: Cool.
- Josh Nichols: Okay. Chip, Ronnie, ha, I think he learned his lesson.
- [they laugh]
- Chip: Just in time, too. I thought he was going to pee in his pants!
- Josh Nichols: How great would THAT have been?
- Josh Nichols: I thought we were teammates. I thought you wanted to hang out with me to have fun, not make a profit.
- Drake Parker: Profits are fun.
- Josh Nichols: [about the two tough, scary-looking biker thugs he hired to scare Drake] Drake, I'd like you to meet Chip and Ronnie, my old camp counselors.
- [Josh, Chip and Ronnie grin]
- Drake Parker: Where'd you go to camp?