Drake & Josh (TV Series)

We're Married (2005)

Drake Bell: Drake Parker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Josh Nichols : Oh, uh, Yooka, I-I-I have a present for you. Come here.

  Yooka : Oh, uh, what it is?

  [opens bag] 

  Yooka : Oh? Oh! It's a Glokmah!

  Drake Parker : No. No, this is a goat.

  Josh Nichols : Glokmah means goat.

  Yooka : Yes, uh, you see, zhe goat is national symbol of Yudonia. Ah, the glokmah is very sacred in my country.

• Drake Parker : Uh, Josh, I don't think Yooka came here to sing Yudonian folk songs. She probably wants to experience more American things, like sushi and Mexican food. Right, Yooka?

• Josh Nichols : [trying to fix Drake's marriage problem]  I-I-I was on the phone with the Yudonian embassy for an hour, I-I-I tried to get you drafted, and I even put a call in to Oprah.

  Drake Parker : What can Oprah do?

  Josh Nichols : Oprah can do ANYTHING!

• Josh Nichols : You, my friend, have earned yourself a Yudonia thank you.

  [kisses Drake on each cheek; Drake starts to leave] 

  Josh Nichols : Where you goin'?

  Drake Parker : To boil my face.

• Josh Nichols : I have to pee.

  Drake Parker : I'll go with you, Josh.

• [first lines, into the camera] 

  Josh Nichols : Have you ever been really good friends with someone you never even met before?

  Drake Parker : Y'ever been really thirsty, just didn't feel like gettin' up?

  Josh Nichols : See, for over a year now, I've been e-mailing this girl from a foreign country.

  [Drake calls Josh on his cell phone] 

  Josh Nichols : One sec. Hello?

  Drake Parker : [faking a Bronx accent]  Yeah, this is, uh, Lt. Pierson with Teen San Diago Police Department.

  Josh Nichols : [recognizing Drake]  Oh, IS it?

  Drake Parker : Yeah, you're gonna need to get a can of soda upstairs to your brother, a code three.

  Josh Nichols : Code this!

  [blows a whistle loudly; both hang up; Drake heads downstairs] 

  Josh Nichols : Anyway, back to my e-pal, Yooka. It's-it's kinda weird to be friends with someone you never met or even talked to on the phone, but I...

  [phone rings again] 

  Josh Nichols : [picking up]  If you call me one more time, I will take an entire bottle of maple syrup and pour it all over your underwear drawer, so for the next nine days YOU can walk around with sicky butt!

  Walter Nichols : Josh, it's your father.

  Josh Nichols : Nice try, ya big doof!

  [hangs up] 

  Josh Nichols : Man, i-i-if he's so thirsty, why can't he come downstairs, go in the kitchen, and get himself...

  [suddenly notices Drake sitting beside him, smiling and drinking a soda] 

  Josh Nichols : Aw, geez.

• Drake Parker : You see, you see, I'm not really her husband. W-we're just married.