Due South (TV Series)
Some Like It Red (1996)
David Marciano: Detective Ray Vecchio
Quotes
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Fraser : Let me tell you something, Ray, I think that the person who invented pantyhose should be brought up on charges of cruelty, sadism and reckless endangerment. They pinch in the most inappropriate places.
Ray Vecchio : Yeah, well most people who wear them don't have those places, Benny.
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Fraser : [Fraser is dressed as a woman and insisting Ray open doors for him] Ray. Manners.
Ray Vecchio : You know, Benny, there's a limit.
Fraser : A limit? To good etiquette? I think not, Ray.
Ray Vecchio : Just get in the car before I beat you with your purse.
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Ray Vecchio : You know, Benny, you weren't a bad-looking woman.
Fraser : Thank you, Ray.
Ray Vecchio : Course, you weren't exactly my type either.
Fraser : Well, what exactly is your type, Ray?
Ray Vecchio : I like a woman who is kind and honest with a good sense of humor.
Fraser : What? And I don't have those qualities?
Ray Vecchio : No, no, you do, I just like a woman who is, you know, a woman.
Fraser : That's, that's picky Ray.
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Fraser : [reading from Celine's diary] "... I gifted him with a treasure of gold and time; he gifted me with his love."
Ray Vecchio : Wow, I'm no English major, but that stuff's so purple I'm gettin' diabetes.
Fraser : Ray, you just mixed a metaphor.
Ray Vecchio : Yeah, well, I said I was no English major.
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Fraser : [regarding Celine's gun] Interesting. A Hildebrand Yankee thirty-eight. You don't see these very often.
Ray Vecchio : No, that's why I ran the numbers on it. You're never gonna guess who it's registered to.
Fraser : Eliot Ness?
Ray Vecchio : How did you know that?
Fraser : Well, it's really quite simple...
Ray Vecchio : No, simple for you is some long drawn-out story about your grandparents' library in Runamukluk.
Fraser : Actually, it is quite simple, Ray; it's engraved right here, 'E. Ness.' And guessing that the 'E' stood for 'Eliot' was just inspiration.
Ray Vecchio : Just gimme that. You're not supposed to be carryin' a gun anyway.
Fraser : [beat] Tuktoyaktuk.
Ray Vecchio : What?
Fraser : You said 'Runamukluk.' I assume you're referring to the time my grandmother moved her traveling library to Tuktoyaktuk.
Ray Vecchio : Tuktoyaktuk, Runamukluk, what's the difference?
Fraser : Well, about two thousand kilometers.
Ray Vecchio : Is that necessary?
Fraser : Not entirely, no.
Ray Vecchio : Okay, so the question is, how does a sixteen-year-old Catholic school girl get a hold of the gun owned by the man who brought down Al Capone? That is the question, not whether or not Tuktoyaktuk and Runamukluk are two thousand miles apart!
Fraser : Kilometers. And, I have no idea.
Ray Vecchio : Well, neither do I!
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Ray Vecchio : Murph's the man, Fraser. He collects hooch like my sister collects losers. You know what his nickname is?
Fraser : I haven't a clue.
Ray Vecchio : The Whiskey King of the Windy City. Isn't that great?
Fraser : Well, Ray, I find that a little bit difficult to believe, in that nicknames generally tend to be a bit shorter. 'Whiskey King', or 'Windy Guy'.
Ray Vecchio : Well, that's his nickname, all right? The Whiskey King of the Windy City. You ask anyone.
Fraser : [turning to another patron] Excuse me, sir. What is the bartender's nickname?
Burly Bar Patron : Murph.