The Dukes of Hazzard (TV Series)

Mason Dixon's Girls (1980)

James Best: Sheriff Rosco Coltrane

Quotes 

• The Balladeer : Here's old Rosco back from the police academy. Which they're still trying to put back together after he left.

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : [in pursuit of General Lee which the Duke boys are using to cart 'a water heater']  You see, that's a direct violation of the law.

  [smirks] 

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Look at that thing sticking out there without a red flag on it.

• Mason Dixon : [enters Sheriff's office, where Rosco sits dozing off]  Uh... excuse me?

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : [wakes up with a start, stammers:]  Don't you threaten me...!

  Mason Dixon : My name is Mason Dixon, and these two ladies here are my associates...

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : [they're pretty girls]  Ooh...

  Sam : Oh, we're investigating a call you made to Atlanta.

  Tinker : Yeah, concerning a couple of fellas that you caught with a whole bunch of marijuana.

  [playfully removes Rosco's hat] 

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Ooh! FBI, huh? Boy, you FBI sure get around quick. You little rascals, you...

  [Tinker now wears his hat] 

  Boss Hogg : [in doorway]  Oh, hush, hush, Rosco. They never said they were from the FBI.

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Oh, no, you didn't.

  Boss Hogg : Besides, let me tell you, personally I know that I've never seen no FBI people with...

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : With big little dimples?

  [imitates with his hands twisting his face] 

  Boss Hogg : Big little dimples. No! Wearing clothes like these.

  Mason Dixon : We're not with the Federal Bureau. We're private investigators.

  Boss Hogg : Private investigators? Sir, the government don't hire no private investigators.

  Mason Dixon : No. No, sir, but, uh, we work independently...

  Sam : [pulling on his tie]  Oh, Sheriff, can't we talk to them fellas in their cells for just a little-bitty minute?

  [strokes his chin] 

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : [much taken with the young lady]  Yeah... you... you... No.

  [all flustered:] 

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Yes. No. I mean, I'd... I'd let you. But I can't. I mean... They ain't in the cells!

  [Sam loses all interest in him] 

  Boss Hogg : Rosco, hush, hush, hush, hush, will you? Just ignore them dimples! I mean, next time she bats her eyelids at you, you'll probably tell her where the Duke boys live.

  Mason Dixon : So that's the name, Duke?

  Boss Hogg : [gave the game away]  What?