- Balladeer: [as Cledus is running away from the farm after being spotted by Uncle Jesse with a shotgun] Looks like a load of buckshot is headed for the south end of a north-bound mule!
- Bo Duke: [what's different around the dinner table, besides Widow Lucinda?] Oh, no, nothing much. Just our cute Uncle Jesse all gussied up, is all.
- Uncle Jesse: Now wait just a minute! I fix up every once in a while. Especially when there's a... lady present.
- Daisy Duke: Well, I like that. What am I, cold grits?
- Uncle Jesse: Now, just hold it right there. Don't you be sassing your elders.