Even Stevens (TV Series)

A Weak First Week (2001)

Margo Harshman: Tawny Dean

Quotes 

• Louis Stevens : [flashback]  Hey.

  [Tawny doesn't answer] 

  Louis Stevens : I like your look. It's very, uh... uh, black.

  Tawny Dean : An explanation of my fashion choices would be wasted on you, since I'm sure your mommy still picks out your clothes.

  Louis Stevens : My mother's dead.

  Tawny Dean : Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.

  Louis Stevens : [laughs]  Just kidding. Actually, she does buy my clothes. Unfortunately, she's blind.

  Tawny Dean : Let me guess: just kidding.

  Louis Stevens : Bingo!

  [puts a spoon with rice on his nose] 

  Louis Stevens : Do I have food on my face?

  Tawny Dean : Is that supposed to be funny?

  Louis Stevens : [disappointed]  No.

  Larry Beale : Yo, Stevens! What's his first name?

  Louis Stevens : [to Tawny]  Sorry, popularity calls. But you should know... the meaner you are to me, the more I like you. Scary, isn't it?

  [smile and walks away] 

• Louis Stevens : [flashback]  Hey, Wednesday Addams, how's it going?

  Tawny Dean : My name is Tawny, okay?

• Louis Stevens : [flashback]  Listen. I know we barely know each other. But my mom and I were talking about you a few nights ago. She says that you like me.

  Tawny Dean : Yeah, right.

  Louis Stevens : Oh, I know, I told her how you gave me mean looks and how you tried to avoid me, and she said that's just what girls do sometimes. So Mom's wrong, huh?

  Tawny Dean : Very.

  Louis Stevens : So, I'm a dork, that's okay. Look, my sister's in way over her head, and I just, you know... wanted to know if you would help me. As a friend.

• Ren Stevens : [at the last minute, Louis changes the TelePrompTer script for Ren's election speech]  It was Sir Francis Bacon who said that knowledge is the ultimate power, but Bacon never experienced the power of Larry Beale's body odor.

  [the audience laughs, and Ren pauses, realizing that something is wrong, but it's too late] 

  Tawny Dean : Keep reading.

  Ren Stevens : [laughs nervously]  It's true! In fact, last week a realtor told Larry's parents that his b.o. was so bad it was affecting the resale value of their house.

  [the audience laughs again] 

  Ren Stevens : But it's really not my style to personally attack my opponent, so if you'll turn your attention to the easel at my right, I'd like to talk about the cafeteria food, and the ill affects of poor nutrition.

  [shows a picture of a sumo wrestler with Larry Beale's head. Everybody laughs, even the principal] 

  Ren Stevens : Larry Beale's G.P.A. has been dropping, well, since the third grade!

  [Louis and Tawny laugh loudly from backstage, as does the audience in the front] 

  Ren Stevens : Question: do I want an irresponsible student policy monitor? I didn't think so!

  [the audience claps ecstatically]