Even Stevens (TV Series)
Gutter Queen (2002)
Daniel Faltus: Chives
Quotes
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Mr. Winnick : Wendy von Leer? Edward Nudelman?
[Edward Nudelman raises his hand]
Mr. Winnick : Tawny Dean?
Tawny Dean : Here.
Mr. Winnick : Louis Stevens? Louis Stevens?
[Louis snaps his fingers]
Chives : Master Stevens is present.
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Beans : [the prize for Louis winning a 'stinky feet' contest is a butler for a week] Where's Chives? I gotta blow my nose.
Louis Stevens : Blow your nose? Chives isn't blowing your nose. He's my butler, not yours, OK?
Beans : Did you know that 'butler' has the word 'butt' in it?
Louis Stevens : [trying to remain calm] Beans... get out of my house, OK?
Beans : My Mom said I could stay as long as I want.
Louis Stevens : Well, Beans, doesn't that tell ya somethin'?
Beans : Nope.
Chives : [Chives comes in with an armful of folded clothes] As requested, Master Louis, your shorts are laundered, pressed and lightly sprayed with jasmine.
Louis Stevens : Thank you, Chives.
Beans : [takes s sniff] My underpants don't smell *anything* like this.
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[last lines]
[Louis is sitting in a beanbag chair in his bedroom looking at a scrapbook he made of his week with Chives]
Louis Stevens : [sadly] Aw, Chives. I miss you, buddy.
[a knock is heard at Louis' bedroom door; the door opens revealing it to be Chives]
Louis Stevens : Chives, you've come back, buddy! I've missed you! Just hold me, Chives.
[Louis gets up from his beanbag chair and runs to give Chives a hug]
Louis Stevens : Okay, so my room is a mess.
[Louis sits back down on the beanbag chair]
Chives : The check you use to pay for my services was, as you say...
Chives : [as he holds up the check Louis won to pay for him for his services which has "BOGUS" stamped on it in giant red letters] Bogus.
Louis Stevens : Chives, I'm really sorry. And, dude, I feel awful. I really do. Wish there was some way I could make it up to you, huh?
[Chives gives Louis an inquisitive look; cut to Louis entering his bedroom while wearing a butler's uniform and his hair combed neatly]
Louis Stevens : [with an English accent; offering Beans and Chives a plate of bacon as they play video games in Louis' bedroom] Gentleman, a light snack.
Chives : Louis, what are you waiting for? That lovely, crisp bacon isn't going to crawl into our mouths.
Louis Stevens : [with English accent] Right, very sorry, sir. My deepest apologies. Here you go.
[Louis each gives a piece of bacon to Beans and Chives]
Beans : It's so hard to find good help these days.
Chives : Indeed, sir.
Louis Stevens : [with English accent] Yes, very, uh... ahem, hard, sir.
