- Tawny Dean: Twitty, don't worry. No one knows the real Louis better than I do. And deep down, he's classy, caring... and very, very intelligent.
- Louis Stevens: [to Blake and Ivan] I LOVE YOU, GUYS!
- Tawny Dean: I think I'm gonna keep an eye on him too.
- Louis Stevens: Okay, now is the part where you tell me I'm your hero and you can kiss me.
- Tawny Dean: Don't push it.
- Twitty: Dude, we're friends.
- Louis Stevens: Yeah, we are. I'm never gonna forget this.
- [standing in the middle of Twitty and Tawny, all with their arms around each other]
- Tawny Dean: Yeah, I'm tearing up here.
- Tawny Dean: It's good that things are getting back to normal between us. Things are back to normal, right?
- [neither Louis or Twitty answers at first]
- Louis Stevens: Em... Wait a second...
- [sticks two carrot pieces up his nostrils]
- Louis Stevens: Okay, now we're back to normal!
- [Louis, Tawny and Twitty laughs]
- Ren Stevens: [speaking to the class] I say enough is enough with this food. Now, I'm your policy monitor. And I am here to serve you.
- Larry Beale: In that case, can you bring me another piece of chocolate cake?
- Twitty: Yeah, Blake did a Doc Dennier's Hot Dog commercial, like, a couple of years ago.
- Louis Stevens: Doc Denniers? Right... Doc Denniers! That's right!
- Twitty: Yep, man, Blake's all about acting.
- Louis Stevens: I love that commercial. I remember the song. It goes, um... "If it's not Doc Denniers, you're just eating wieners."
- Twitty: Yeah, man, that's him.
- Louis Stevens: [to Tawny] You remember that commercial?
- Tawny Dean: I don't eat wieners.
- Louis Stevens: Okay...
- Louis Stevens: [impersonates Austin Powers] Groovy, baby. Yeah.
- Ren Stevens: What are you doing?
- Louis Stevens: Oh, this? Just trying out some new routines for my new crew.
- Ren Stevens: Your new crew? Listen to you, with your overnight popularity... You're starting to sound like Larry Beale. Translation: Ew!
- Louis Stevens: What's wrong with you?
- Ren Stevens: I think I lost my mojo.
- Louis Stevens: No. You never had a mojo.
- Ren Stevens: You're probably right.
- Louis Stevens: What? You're not gonna yell at me? Help! Dr. Evil has replaced my sister with some cheap, ugly robot!
- Tawny Dean: Louis, you may not know this, but I'm fond of you. And so is Twitty. But we think... We're worried you've become a pod person.
- Louis Stevens: So... So, now that I have new friends, I'm a pod person?
- Tawny Dean: Don't take this the wrong way.
- Louis Stevens: [angry] I can't help it! Every day, it's been like, "Louis, stop with the Brando," "Louis, get a new act..." How am I supposed to feel?
- Tawny Dean: [pauses] You're taking this the wrong way.
- Twitty: I thought there had been a little bad blood between you and Blake.
- Louis Stevens: No, there's no bad blood. There's no blood! Do I look like I'm bleeding?
- Louis Stevens: For those of you keeping score at home: My new friends... they don't like me. My old friends... they don't like me. So I guess the score is friends, zero. Louis, really zero. I don't know, I guess maybe next time, I'll think twice before I save a guy's life.
- Tawny Dean: Louis' constant craving for approval combined with his youngest child syndrome has basically split his personality in two.
- Twitty: So what are we gonna do for him?
- Tawny Dean: We've gotta shock him back into reality. This calls for drastic measures.
- [Louis rides his bike, before he hears a yelling]
- Tawny Dean: Help! Help!
- [Louis hears it, and sees a sign saying: "Damsel in distress". He goes on and finds another sign, which says: "That means you, Louis." Louis continues and sees Tawny in the middle of a train track]
- Louis Stevens: Woah! What...? Tawny? What the heck are you doing? This isn't another one of your protests, is it?
- Tawny Dean: Are you going to save me or not?
- Louis Stevens: Save you from what?
- [train whistle follows. We see a small black model train, with a laughing Twitty driving it]
- Louis Stevens: Twitty? You guys have completely lost your minds!
- Tawny Dean: Okay, I'm gonna talk you through this.
- Louis Stevens: Good.
- Tawny Dean: Okay, I'm tied to the tracks. The train is coming. The hero... that would be you... rides up on his bike and saves me. In the nick of time.
- [the train moves closer]
- Tawny Dean: [flatly] Oh, no... It's the evil Twitty... Save my life, and I will forever be your friend...
- [Louis doesn't react at once]
- Tawny Dean: Hm? Beats the Heimlich maneuver.
- Blake Thompson: [talking on the phone] No, I'm not gonna... No, that is not something I'm gonna be doing. Because, I mean, do you know who I am? I mean, it's not going to happen. No. No, no, no, no, no. That's not kind of thing that I would do. No. No, you're not listening to me. What I'm saying is, it's just not what happens with Blake Thompson. It's just not gonna...
- [Blake's attention is turned to Louis, who is several feet away telling a funny story to a group of kids, including Ivan]
- Louis Stevens: And then I said to the teacher... .
- Blake Thompson: If Blake Thompson doesn't feel that it'd be good for him, I don't think Blake Thompson should have to do it. I mean, do you know what I'm saying?
- Louis Stevens: ...The teacher. I swear.
- Blake Thompson: Yeah, yeah, I'm still... I'm still here. Uh-huh. I'm a very important person. This is not the kind of thing I would... No! No, you're not listening to me. What I'm saying is it's not gonna happen. No. No, no, no, no, no.
- [Ivan comes up]
- Ivan: Blake, you gotta come see Louis, man. It's hilarious.
- Blake Thompson: Yeah? Since when did Louis become the center of the universe?
- Ivan: I just thought maybe you'd like some of his jokes or something, that's all.
- Blake Thompson: No, dude, grow up. The guy's a dork.
- Ivan: Oh, yeah. I was kidding. Total dork. I'll see you later.
- [He leaves]
- Blake Thompson: Yeah. Yeah.
- [Goes back to the phone]
- Blake Thompson: Okay. No. No. Okay, fine, Mom, you win. I'll clean my room. Geez. I gotta go.
- [He hangs up]