Even Stevens (TV Series)

Ren-Gate (2002)

George Anthony Bell: Principal Conrad Wexler

Quotes 

• Principal Conrad Wexler : Ren, you are by far the best Student Administrative Assistant I've ever had.

  Ren Stevens : Well, I'm the only one you've ever had, sir. I created the job.

• Eileen Stevens : Mr. Wexler, I just had the craziest idea.

  Principal Conrad Wexler : If it's about putting Louis in a giant bird cage, forget it. The school board turned me down.

• Principal Conrad Wexler : [to Louis]  Busting your two best friends, Ms. Dean and Mr. Twitty, shows a lack of compassion I find very promising.

• Ren Stevens : [listing Principal Wexler's engagements for the day]  You have... a fifth-period awards ceremony with the seventh grade spelling bee champ. The winning word: mnemonic.

  [she pronounces it as "numonic"] 

  Ren Stevens : Here you go.

  [she hands the list to Mr Wexler] 

  Principal Conrad Wexler : [worried]  Oh. M-N-E-M-O-N-I-C. Tricky. I've got to think of a way to remember that.

• Louis Stevens : So, Twitty, what is *the* most annoying part of your day?

  Alan Twitty : Ahhh, pretending to shower after gym class?

  Louis Stevens : Yes. Yes. No, no, that's wrong. See, what I think it is, is the countless minutes we spend each and every day between classes, opening up our lockers. Y'know, you gotta turn it right, you gotta turn it left, you gotta turn it right again...

  Alan Twitty : [getting enthused]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then, and then, you know, you got all those stupid numbers that you have to memorize...

  Louis Stevens : Exactly. That's what I'm talkin' about. That's why I have invented the remote-control locker opener. Check that out.

  [he shows Twitty his new device] 

  Alan Twitty : Sa-weet. So what are we gonna do with all this extra time?... You know what? I'm gonna learn Italian.

  Louis Stevens : [nonplussed, but trying to remain positive]  Right! You could learn, um, Italian. Allow me to demonstrate. Watch this.

  Principal Conrad Wexler : [he points the device, and his locker opens, hitting Principal Wexler square in the nose]  Owwww, what in tarnation...

  Alan Twitty : Ciao, Luigi.

  [he leaves quickly]