- Principal Wexler: Any humiliating or degrading of seventh graders must be done during lunch hours only. And remember... keep it fun.
- Louis Stevens: Why did they pick Larry Beale for Scrubmaster? I mean, he's mean, he's nasty, he's brutal, and that's just to his mother.
- Tawny Dean: Do you guys think this Scrub Day thing is for real?
- Alan Twitty: I don't know, dude, but it's kinda starting to freak me out.
- Louis Stevens: What? It's nothing! It's just the eight graders trying to scare us. They're not really gonna do anything. Why are you being such babies?
- [a hanging skeleton comes down from the ceiling, with a message that there's two days left until Scrub Day. Louis jumps up in Tawny's arms so she holds him like a baby]
- Tawny Dean: How do you feel now, tough guy?
- Ren Stevens: When I went through it, I thought the whole thing was disgusting and juvenile.
- Louis Stevens: [relieved] Right. Right
- Ren Stevens: But now that you're going through it, I just think it's a wonderful school tradition. Later, Scrub.
- Tawny Dean: What do the eight graders have that we don't have?
- Louis Stevens: Other than armpit hair, they got nothing.
- Tawny Dean: It's just that they're organized, and we're not. Right?
- Louis Stevens: Right. But I got an idea!
- Tawny Dean: Really?
- Louis Stevens: No. No, I don't. I don't. But I will by two o'clock.
- Louis Stevens: [to his fellow seventh graders] Look, there are more of us than there are of them. That's why we need to stick together. Alright? If we're gonna be the Scrubs, we need to be the united Scrubs. The United Scrubs... of America. USA!
- Louis Stevens: [trying to rally the seventh graders to resist Scrub Day initiations] Is it fair that, that we can be tortured because we're younger?
- The assembled Seventh graders: No!
- Louis Stevens: No. And is it fair that Larry Beale gets to decide how to torture us?
- The assembled Seventh graders: No!
- Louis Stevens: No. And is it fair that Pluto has to sleep in a dog house and wear a leash, while Goofy, who is also a dog, gets to drive around in a car and play golf with Mickey?
- The assembled Seventh graders: [confused, nonplussed] What? Huh?
- Tawny Dean: What?
- Louis Stevens: [quietly] Sorry, it's just always bothered me.
- Tom Gribalski: Only two more days until the most horrible humiliation we could ever imagine.
- Louis Stevens: OK, let's say it is for real. I mean, what could they possibly do to us?
- Tawny Dean: Well, my cousin said that when she went here, they TP'd every seventh grader from head to toe.
- Alan Twitty: That's flagrant, man!
- Tom Gribalski: In my other school, five guys held my head in a toilet, and then flushed it.
- Alan Twitty: You got a swirlie. That's vile!
- Tom Gribalski: Yes, but oddly refreshing.