- [Eileen realizes Louis played a prank on Ren]
- Eileen Stevens: What did you do? Put mayonnaise in her moisturizer?
- Louis Stevens: No, but you know what? That's a good idea.
- Louis Stevens: [finding his briefs hanging on the outside of his locker and reading the attached note] "You left your tighty whities in gym class - Couch Tugnut".
- Girl in Hall: Hey there. You're Ren Stevens' little brother, right?
- Louis Stevens: [as he tries to hide the underwear] The name... the name's Louis.
- Alan Twitty: [holding up Louis' underpants] Yeah, it says so right on his underwear.
- Eileen Stevens: Honey, I have great news! Councellor McKinsey is looking for an intern! Oh, I think you would be just perfect for this! He's expecting your call.
- Ren Stevens: Oh, Mom, I'd love to, but my schedule is pretty busy right now.
- Eileen Stevens: [looks at the only empty room in the calendar] No, honey, look... You have Tuesday from 4:30 to 6 available!
- Louis Stevens: Little Miss Weird has been running around the house all day, and it's payback time!
- Alan Twitty: [plays his guitar and sings] It's payback time, it's payback time!
- Louis Stevens: Look over here, I'm gonna show you something.
- Alan Twitty: [playing and singing] I'm gonna show you something, I'm gonna show you!
- Louis Stevens: Get out! Get out of my house!
- Alan Twitty: [still doing his music] Get, get out of Louis's house!
- Louis Stevens: Louis is cool.
- Alan Twitty: [still playing and singing] Louis is a big nerd, he's the biggest nerd!
- Ren Stevens: What are you doing?
- Louis Stevens: Isis!
- Ren Stevens: What did you call me?
- Louis Stevens: I said: hi, sis!
- Louis Stevens: [pacing in his room, while Twitty sits on the edge of the bed with his guitar] Ren is up to something. The question is, What?
- Alan Twitty: Well, she's a girl, and girls do weird things. Hey, that's a great song title.
- Alan Twitty: [he strums his guitar along with his new lyrics] Girls Do Weird Things...