- [Louis believes someone has stolen his video tape]
- Louis Stevens: Oh, so it's going to be the "Louis, we have no idea what you're talking about" routine.
- Steve Stevens: Louis. We have no idea what you're talking about.
- Ren Stevens: May I please have permission to FedEx Louis to Timbuktu before June-Marie gets here?
- Eileen Stevens: Absolutely not. UPS is so much cheaper.
- Donnie Stevens: I have no idea what's going on here. I'm gonna go in the kitchen where the world makes sense.
- Tom Gribalski: This may look like an ordinary picture frame, right? Happy family, on vacation. Louis' fly is open.
- Donnie: Hey Ren? Jewel's on the phone.
- Ren Stevens: I told you to hold my calls.
- Donnie: She is on hold. Duh.
- Tom Gribalski: Hey, Tawny, you think I could set up surveillances in your house sometime?
- Louis Stevens: Tawny doesn't have a home.
- Tom Gribalski: Oh.
- Louis Stevens: She lives on her bike. It's a long story, it's very tragic.
- June Marie: Great room. Clean. Good attention to feng shui. But do you know what I like most about it? It reminds me of my own room.
- Ren Stevens: That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
- Louis Stevens: Funniest thing happened to me today. I wanted to tell my sister she's being taken for a ride. Problem is, sis isn't too used to me telling true stories. So, you know, I'm realizing that every time I try to do something nice for this family, nobody ever believes me. So now I got to figure out how to tell her... without telling her. The worst part is... I got a zit the size of a Volkswagen.