- Garrett Miller: Hey, 'busters, any calls?
- Eduardo Rivera: Tons. That's why we're sittin' here, not moving.
- Roland Jackson: I think Eduardo's being sarcastic.
- Garrett Miller: Thanks, Roland.
- Chef: There were three of 'em. One of 'em had... a, a... saw in his skull!
- Kylie Griffin: A saw?
- Garrett Miller: You mean, like a Black and Decker?
- Eduardo Rivera: Craniac.
- Kylie Griffin: A whazziac?
- Eduardo Rivera: What? Am I the only guy in the room who reads J.N Kline? Craniac, he's the main monster from all the books.
- Garrett Miller: You read J.N. Kline?
- Kylie Griffin: You read?
- Roland Jackson: My little brother reads J.N. Kline.
- [a beat]
- Roland Jackson: You read kid's books?
- Dr. Egon Spengler: We've got a code seven abduction by Bipedal Interdimensional Corporeals, in triplicate.
- Garrett Miller: I'm a sucker for sucker shots...
- Kylie Griffin: No, it's not a Vathek, it's one of their victims.
- Garrett Miller: I know, gonna suck the evil right out of 'im.
- Garrett Miller: [shouting] Kline, listen up! A 16-Ton anvil, eh, dropped from the ceiling, crushing the Vathek creeps like bugs!
- Eduardo Rivera: Look, these things are supposed to be scary. Your story has no jeopardy. It's just forty pages of you blowing away ghosts and chasing skirts.
- Garrett Miller: What's wrong with that?
- Kylie Griffin: Hey, Iron Johns. Cut the guy talk. We got a call.
- Garrett Miller: Blowing away ghosts. It's what I do.
- Roland Jackson: So Garrett, how, eh, reality-based is your story?
- Kylie Griffin: I think what Roland's politely fishing for is... we're in it, right?
- Eduardo Rivera: Yeah, we're in it... for about a page... then we die... squealing for mercy.
- Roland Jackson: We what?
- Eduardo Rivera: Well, not all of us. The...
- [clears throat]
- Eduardo Rivera: ... handsome guy in the wheelchair lives.
- Kylie Griffin: What a shock.
- Roland Jackson: Aw... it's okay, Garrett. I'm sure you had artistic reasons.
- Kylie Griffin: Roland, don't be such a simp!
- Garrett Miller: Hey, don't take it personally, guys, it's just more commercial with one hero. Besides, I get to avenge your deaths.
- Kylie Griffin: Garrett, you made us squeal for mercy. I am 'not' a squealer.
- Garrett Miller: Tell you what, I'll bring you back as ghosts in the sequel. Promise.
- Garrett Miller: Don't don't let em' bug you, pachuco. They may be the brains of this operation, but you and me, we're the butt kickers. Especially me. And speaking of you, I didn't know you were such a horror fan.
- Eduardo Rivera: A lot about me you don't know.
- Garrett Miller: Well, tell me. As a fan of the genre, did my story rock?
- Eduardo Rivera: Well, um...
- Garrett Miller: Go on. Tell it to me like is. I can take it.
- Eduardo Rivera: It stunk. Bad.
- Garrett Miller: Okay, what have we learned?
- Roland Jackson: Eh, Proton beams won't take 'em down.
- Eduardo Rivera: Check.
- Kylie Griffin: Which means they're not ecto as we know it. The ghost trap is useless!
- Kylie Griffin: Roland, you're alright!
- Eduardo Rivera: I thought maybe you'd be dead.
- Roland Jackson: Yeah... me too.