- Peter Griffin: How am I gonna come up with 50 grand by tomorrow?
- Glen Quagmire: Well, you could whore yourself out to a thousand fat chicks for 50 bucks apiece. Or - or - or 50 *really* fat chicks for a thousand bucks.
- [Cleveland and Joe stare at him]
- Glen Quagmire: What? Don't look at me like that. Fat chicks need love too. But they gotta pay!
- Glen Quagmire: So what, were you like, in an accident or something?
- Seamus: [Who has two wooden legs and two wooden arms] No, me father was a tree.
- Lois Griffin: See you in a few days.
- Meg Griffin: Not if I strangle myself with seaweed wrap and die.
- Peter Griffin: Ho, ho, you are dark.
- 'Find The Fish': I wonder where that fish did go. A fish, a fish, a fishy, oh!
- Brian Griffin: Peter, did you read the fine print on this loan contract?
- Peter Griffin: Um, if by read, you mean, imagined a naked lady, then yes.
- Chris Griffin: Dad, it's Mom!
- [hands Peter the phone]
- Peter Griffin: Oh, gawd. Please be Somerset Maughm. Please be Somerset Maughm. Hello?
- Lois Griffin: Peter?
- Peter Griffin: Damn!
- Lois Griffin: Oh, Peter, I'm so glad being a fisherman is wotking out for you. Y'know I gotta admit, I half expected to come home and all our stuff would be gone and we'd owe somebody a whole lot of money.
- Peter Griffin: How can you half expect something?
- Lois Griffin: I don't know. It's just a turn of phrase.
- Peter Griffin: How do you turn a phrase?
- Lois Griffin: Hmph, gawd you're dumb. Thank god for that ass.