Family Guy (TV Series)

Brian Does Hollywood (2001)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Tom Tucker, Jake Tucker, Jasper, Passenger, Phil, Crew Member, Los Angeles Cop

Photos 

Quotes 

• Angry Man : Oh great, I always end up sitting next to a damn baby.

  Stewie Griffin : What did you just say?

  Lois Griffin : Stewie, stop fussing.

  Stewie Griffin : Pipe down Lois. Hey big man, turn around. Oh you can't hear me now. I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next 5 hours, you're my bitch.

  Stewie Griffin : [furiously kicks the seat in front of him]  Wah wah wah my ears are popping and there's no way to console me Wah! Maybe I'm teething, Maybe I'm hungry, who knows? I'm a baby!

• Director : [to Lois]  You got a nice wiggle, baby. You wanna be in a movie, huh? A little girl/girl action maybe?

  Lois Griffin : [gasps and nudges Peter]  Peter!

  Peter Griffin : Good luck buddy, I've been barkin' up that tree for 17 years.

• Stewie Griffin : Easy! Massage the scalp. You're washing a baby's hair, not scrubbing vomit off your Christmas dress, you holiday drunk.

• Bill Cosby : You like jump rope, don't you?

  Stewie Griffin : [Stewie is being hypnotized]  I like jump rope.

  Bill Cosby : All right, then you are going to sit here and enjoy it.

  Stewie Griffin : I'm going to sit here and enjoy it, and I like pudding, and Ghost Dad was the best movie I've seen since Leonard Part 6.

• Brian Griffin : So this is some sort of Shampoo Commercial, right?

• Brian Griffin : They bought "Death Spares not the Tiger"? Can you believe he called his protagonist "Joe Everyman"? Oh well, good for him.

• Jasper : So! Do you like "Sex and the City"?

  Brian Griffin : Yeah, it's an all right show.

  Jasper : I wasn't talking about the show. Ooooh I'm nasty!

  [makes a ship horn sound] 

  Jasper : Somebody ship me out to sea!

• Lois Griffin : Oh, I always loved this little sailor suit. Or we could do nice cordouroys and a sweater.

  Stewie Griffin : [pulling a handkerchief from his overalls]  Or you could make yourself useful and wipe my button. Circular motion, one finger. And don't you look at me!

• Stewie Griffin : Does anyone else smell Astroglide?

• Jasper : Good news! Good news!

  Brian Griffin : What? More people I love think I'm an arrogant jerk?

  Jasper : You're more than that, mister nominated for an adult movie award for best new director.

  Brian Griffin : A Woody? I'm up for a Woody?