Family Guy (TV Series)

Brian Goes Back to College (2005)

Alex Borstein: Lois Griffin, Amelia Bedford-Furthington-Chesterhill, Kelly McGillis

Quotes 

• Female Student : [after spraying Brian in the face with mace]  I'm sorry, I just came from that orientation seminar about college dating.

  Kelly McGillis : [Scene cuts to an auditorium of students watching a video]  Hi, I'm Kelly McGillis and I'm here to talk to you about rape. Ladies, look to your left. Now look to your right. Statistics indicate that both of those men will rape you.

  Male Student #1 : [Female student is seen sitting between two male students. She looks nervously at them]  I'm not gonna rape you.

  Male Student #2 : I might.

• [last lines] 

  Lois Griffin : [to Brian]  Well, how'd ya do?

  Brian Griffin : I failed.

  Peter Griffin : You failed? Then what the hell are you smilin' for?

  Brian Griffin : Because I took it all the way. I didn't give up on myself, and I didn't cheat.

  Lois Griffin : You probably should have.

  Peter Griffin : Yeah, I was just gonna say...

  Brian Griffin : It doesn't matter how it turned out. I finished what I started, which means I have my pride. And that's something.

  [Griffins mutter to each other in agreement] 

  Peter Griffin : No it's not. What are you outta your mind?

  [Griffins mutter to each other again in agreement] 

  Chris Griffin : [to Brian]  I hate you!

  [Runs away in shame] 

• Lois Griffin : Peter, you're not wearing your costume anymore.

  Peter Griffin : Ah, what's the point? You know, I thought I could help people out with this whole A-Team thing, but it turns out I'm as useless as that nude Playboy spread of Debbie Gibson. It's like, "Yeah, she's naked, but who gives a shit?"