Family Guy (TV Series)

Dammit Janet (2000)

Alex Borstein: Lois Griffin, Gladys

Quotes 

• Lois Griffin : I'm so bored without Stewie around, I don't know what to do.

  Brian Griffin : We could get hammered.

• Lois : It's like I always tell the kids: "Quitters never win" and "Don't trust Whitey".

• Lois Griffin : Uh, Well, this is just great! How the Hell are we supposed to get home?

  Peter Griffin : Look, all we got to do is to get some fake passports on the black market.

  Lois Griffin : Where are you going? You're never gonna find the black market!

  Peter Griffin : Oh, that's what you said about that back-alley-abortionist! Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you changed your mind, the point is I *found* the guy.

• Lois Griffin : Stewie needs to learn how to socialize with other children. Maybe we should put him in daycare.

  Peter Griffin : Lois, his answers are out on the open road. I say we give him a hobo pack on the end of a stick, a can of beans, and a pocketful of dreams.

  Lois Griffin : Peter, do you even know which one of our children I'm talking about?

  Peter Griffin : [Awkward pause]  Gordon?

• Gladys : Abner! Abner! The Griffin boy just killed a plastic reindeer!

  Abner : Gladys, it took me two hours to work up the courage to rent this porno. Now you gonna watch it with me or not?

• Lois Griffin : My feet are killin' me. I've got vomit in my pocket and I've seen that crappy Julia Roberts movie 47 times. have you seen the lips on that woman? Like a baboon's ass on her face.

• Lois Griffin : I took this job for excitement, and you're the one who's having it all.

  Peter Griffin : Oh, it's excitement you want, huh? How would you like to join the mile high club? C'mon, you be the stewardess and I'll be the mysterious stranger who's drillin' ya.