Family Guy (TV Series)

Model Misbehavior (2005)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Tom Tucker, Carter Pewterschmidt, God, Captain Seamus, Cookie Monster, Serf

Photos 

Quotes 

• Meg Griffin : Dad, how could you be okay with mom parading herself around like this? I'm mean she's half-naked. It makes all women look bad.

  Peter Griffin : Meg, who let you back in the house?

• Stewie Griffin : [in an office in Stewie's Bedroom]  Uh, Brian, that coffee mug that you have that says, "Life's a beach"... that's dangerously close to the word "bitch", isn't it?

  Brian Griffin : Yeah, that's the joke.

  Stewie Griffin : Yes - and believe me. no one appreciates a good joke like Stewie - but, someof the other employees have found it offensive.

  Brian Griffin : Other employees? Who else works here?

  Stewie Griffin : [bleep]  you! That's who else works here!

• Peter Griffin : [at 3:00 a.m]  Hey, everybody! Meg just had her first period!

  Joe Swanson : Peter, shut up! It's 3:00 in the morning!

  Cleveland : What the hell is going on out there?

  Glen Quagmire : Damn it! People are trying to sleep!

  Peter Griffin : I'm just saying, I'm proud of her! She's a woman! Yeah!

  Glen Quagmire : Yes, Peter, that's very hot, and I'll deal with it in the morning, but right now, I'm exhausted!

• Lois Griffin : I'm gonna become a model.

  Peter Griffin : Hey, that's fantastic, Lois. And I'll pleasure myself to your photos.

  Chris Griffin : Me, too.

  Meg Griffin : Me, too.

  Peter Griffin : Oh, God. Meg, that's sick. That's your mother.

  Meg Griffin : I'm just trying to fit in.

  Peter Griffin : Get out. Get out of this house.

  Peter Griffin : [punches the wall]  I said now!

  [Meg runs out] 

• Lois Griffin : Hey there, sweetie! I got a wax this morning and, let's just say, you're cleared for landing! Huh?

  Glen Quagmire : [in the distance]  *giggity!*

• Glen Quagmire : [after lighting a cigarette]  So what's going on? You ever get freaky with that thing?

• Lois Griffin : Hey, everybody, wait till you see this.

  Peter Griffin : Oh, my God. Moveable printed type. We must keep this from the serfs, lest they gain literacy and threaten the landed gentry.

  Serf : What you got there, m'lord?

  Peter Griffin : Nothing! Back to your turnips!

• Carter Pewterschmidt : [while in a Rigatta, Carter has a yaght, and the Griffans have a tub with a sail] 

  [shouts] 

  Carter Pewterschmidt : LOSER!

  Peter Griffin : What did he say?

  Carter Pewterschmidt : [throws a cell phone at the Griffins] 

  [Cell phone rings, and Peter picks it up] 

  Carter Pewterschmidt : I said you're a loser!

  Peter Griffin : Who is this?

• Stewie Griffin : Oh, and tell Cookie Monster not to phone me until he finishes rehab.

• Carter Pewterschmidt : Peter, I see you're still fat as hell.

• Peter Griffin : Gee, Mr. Pewterschmidt, you could use some fine strapping young men like us on your schooner.

  Carter Pewterschmidt : Are you saying I'm gay?

  Peter Griffin : What? Are you sure you, you, you, you don't want more seamen on, on, on your poop deck?

• Lois Griffin : Peter, I got a wax job and lets just say, you're cleared for landing!

  Glen Quagmire : [off the screen]  Giggitty!

• Peter Griffin : Hiya, Mr. Pewterschmidt!

  Carter Pewterschmidt : Peter! I see you're still fatter than holy hell.

  Peter Griffin : Aw, you can read me like a book.

  [laughs] 

• Stewie Griffin : [to the Pewterschmidts' Latin American maid]  So which of the Latin countries are you from? The one with the civil war, the one with the cocaine, or the one with the fancy hats?

• Lois Griffin : Hey there, sweetie! I got a wax this morning and let's just say you're cleared for landing, eh?

  Glen Quagmire : [From a distance]  GIGGITY!

• Peter Griffin : [shouting out the window]  Hey, everybody! Meg just had her first period!

  Joe Swanson : *Peter*! Shut up! It's three in the morning!

  Cleveland : What the hell's going on out there?

  Glen Quagmire : Damn it! People are trying to sleep!

  Peter Griffin : I'm just saying, she's a woman. I'm proud of her. Yay!

  Glen Quagmire : Yes, Peter, that's very hot and I'll deal with it in the morning but right now I'm exhausted.

• Carter Pewterschmidt : Are you saying I'm gay?

  Peter Griffin : What? You mean you don't want more sea men on your poop deck?

• Brian Griffin : Come on, Stewie, let's go.

  Stewie Griffin : [going through envelopes]  Yes, yes, I'm just checking the mail. I say, here's one from the vet.

  Brian Griffin : [trying in vain to catch the letter from Stewie's hands]  Give me that!

  Stewie Griffin : [after reading the letter]  Good Lord! Worms? You have worms?

  Brian Griffin : I don't have worms, allright? I just got checked for worms.

  [reading himself the letter] 

  Brian Griffin : Oh, wait, no, I do have worms. Oh God! Oh, wh - - what am I gonna do? I can't afford the medication for this.

  Stewie Griffin : Well, you could ask Lois and the fat one.

  Brian Griffin : No! No! No... you... you cannot tell them about this, please. Peter is not very discreet for private matters.

  [...] 

  Brian Griffin : Just please, don't tell them

  Stewie Griffin : You know? Perhaps you should worry a little less about your pride and little more about the creepy-crawlies Shawshanking their way out of your balloon knot

• Peter Griffin : Hey, who's putting together a puzzle? 'Cause I just found a hot piece.

  [giggles] 

  Glen Quagmire : Wow. Lois, you look great. I'd like to split you in half like a piece of lumber.

  Lois Griffin : [chuckles]  Oh, thank you, Glenn.

  Joe Swanson : Yeah, Lois. I'd like to wear you like a hockey mask.

  Lois Griffin : Oh, you guys!