- The Black Knight: [seemingly talking to Peter] Hey, what's your fat ass doing here?
- Bruce the Performance Artist: [sitting on a large donkey] He's my only means of conveyance. But, I suppose I do spoil him.
- The Black Knight: Clearly, you do.
- The Black Knight: You see kids your father is nothing but a fizzle!
- Peter Griffin: Nobody calls me a fizzle and gets away with it! Except that one guy who called me a fizzle and then ran off. He got away with it. But most people who call me a fizzle don't get away with it. Well, actually, that guy who got away with it was the only one who ever called me a fizzle. After today... only half the people who ever called me a fizzle will have gotten away with it.
- Tom Tucker: And now, here's Ollie Williams, with the BlaccuWeather Forecast. Ollie!
- Ollie Williams: IT'S GON' RAIN!
- Tom Tucker: Thanks, Ollie.
- Peter Griffin: [dressed up like female prostitute] Looking for a good time, sweet cheeks?
- Lois Griffin: Oh, my God! Peter, get in the car!
- Peter Griffin: But it will cost you. What do you want? A Cleveland Steamer?
- Lois Griffin: I said get in the car! What's a Cleveland Steamer?
- Brian Griffin: It means that he'll...
- [gets interrupted]
- Peter Griffin: Be cool.
- Black Knight: You see that kids? Your father's nothing but a fizzle!
- Peter Griffin: Nobody calls me a fizzle and gets away with it!
- [pause]
- Peter Griffin: Except that one guy who called me a fizzle and then he ran off, he got away with it. But most people who call me a fizzle don't get away with it!
- [pause]
- Peter Griffin: Well actually, that guy who got away with it was the only one who ever called me a fizzle.
- [pause]
- Peter Griffin: But after today, only half the people who've called me a fizzle will have gotten away with it!
- Peter Griffin: Mr. Weed, I don't care what the guys at work say. I never thought you were an effeminate weirdo.