Family Guy (TV Series)

The Perfect Castaway (2005)

Patrick Warburton: Joe Swanson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peter Griffin : Hey, hey! I got an idea! Let's play "I Never..." Y-you gotta drink if you did the thing that the person says they never did.

  Cleveland Brown : Oh, I got one. I never slept with a woman with the lights on.

  [Peter, Joe, and Quagmire drink] 

  Joe Swanson : I'll go next. Uh, I never had sex with Cleveland's wife.

  [Cleveland and Quagmire drink] 

  Peter Griffin : Uh, all right, let's see. Uh... I never did a chick in a Logan Airport bathroom.

  [Quagmire drinks. Several minutes later, we see lots of empty beer bottles in front of Quagmire] 

  Peter Griffin : God. Let's see. What else is there? Um... I never gave a reach-around to a spider monkey while reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.

  Glenn Quagmire : Oh, God!

  [takes a swig] 

  Joe Swanson : I, uh... I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home and choke me while I touch myself.

  Glenn Quagmire : Oh, come on!

  [takes another drink] 

  Peter Griffin : Um, I never did the same thing, but with someone from JoAnn Fabrics.

  Glenn Quagmire : Oh, God, this is ridiculous!

  [takes a drink and gets knocked out] 

  Peter Griffin : Oh, boy, he's out cold. Hey, let's write on him!

  [Peter, Joe, and Cleveland giggle]