- [dressed as a gangster]
- Steve Urkel: How tough am I? When I was born... when the doctor slapped me, I SHOT him!
- Chain: It occurs to me that you could be wired.
- Steve Urkel: Oh no! Now, I may have taken a sip of my mom's coffee, but I...
- Chain: I'm talkin' about the other kind of wired!
- Steve Urkel: [When Osgood picks him up] Excuse me, but do you have a name or just a zip code?
- Osgood: Osgood!
- Steve Urkel: Osgood? That's a great name... for a duck!
- [laughs and snorts]
- Osgood: Chain, you want me to hit this punk?
- Steve Urkel: [Stands up] Try me, Chunky Trunks! But it's only fair to warn you that I'm a black belt in karate and I used to practice in the Sahara Forest!
- Osgood: Man, the Sahara is a desert!
- Steve Urkel: Oh, sure! Noooow!
- [Imitates karate chops]