- Dr. Goodrich: Steve, I want you to go back in time. Do you understand?
- Steve Urkel: Yes.
- [Eyes open in awe]
- Steve Urkel: I'm... I'm being born! My head pops out! I can see my dad!
- [Looks shocked]
- Steve Urkel: Whoa! I'm being pushed back in!
- [Squirms]
- Rachel Crawford: Can you make him quack like a duck every time the phone rings?
- Dr. Goodrich: Ms. Crawford, I am a medical doctor, not a carnival act!
- Rachel Crawford: [to Harriette] He's not gonna make him quack.
- Carl Winslow: [Laura wears a dress for a costume party while Harriette sews it] Laura, are Maxine's parents chaperoning this party tonight?
- Eddie Winslow: Oh, no mom. They're out of town. But don't worry. Three kids are dressing up as responsible adults. I'm just kidding, mom. Max's parents will be there.
- Carl Winslow: Good. And if I were you, I wouldn't tease me while I'm holding a needle.
- Richie Crawford: [to the pony Steve rode into the kitchen] Giddy-up, girl, giddy-up.
- Harriette Winslow: No, giddy-OUT, girl, giddy-OUT!
- Carl Winslow: [after Carl's words about Steve are revealed, everyone walks past him without talking to him] Mama, where're you going?
- Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [sternly] I'm going to check your birth certificate to make sure you're actually my son!
- Carl Winslow: Everyone seems to be mad at me, Doc.
- Dr. Goodrich: That's a perfectly natural response.
- Carl Winslow: Gee, I feel kind of bad.
- Dr. Goodrich: That's also normal.
- Carl Winslow: What do I owe you?
- Dr. Goodrich: [sternly] Forget it, I wouldn't touch your filthy money.