Fawlty Towers (TV Series)

A Touch of Class (1975)

John Cleese: Basil Fawlty

Photos 

5 more photos

Quotes 

• Basil Fawlty : [seeing Manual with three trays]  Manuel.

  Manuel : ¿Si?

  Basil Fawlty : [speaking slowly]  There is too much butter on those trays.

  Manuel : ¿Que?

  Basil Fawlty : There is too much butter... on... those... trays.

  Manuel : No. No, no, senor. Not... not "on... those... trays"... No, sir.

  Manuel : [counting the trays instructively]  "Uno, dos, tres".

• Danny Brown : [with a strong London accent]  Hello! Got a room?

  Basil Fawlty : I beg your pardon?

  Danny Brown : Got a room for tonight, mate?

  Basil Fawlty : I shall have to see, sir. A single?

  Danny Brown : Yeah. No, make it a double. I feel lucky today.

• [Basil has been listening to classical music in the office instead of typing the lunch menu or hanging a picture in the lobby] 

  Sybil Fawlty : You could've had them both done by now if you hadn't spent the whole morning skulking in there, listening to that racket.

  Basil Fawlty : "Racket?" That's *Brahms*! Brahms's third racket!

• Basil Fawlty : [nice and then nasty]  Hello, Lord Melbury - BASTARRRDDD!

• Basil Fawlty : [chasing after Sir Richard Morris, who is leaving]  Where are you going? Where are you going?

  Sir Richard Morris : We're leaving!

  Basil Fawlty : Oh, don't - please stay - you'll like it here.

  Sir Richard Morris : I've never been to such a place in my life!

  [they drive off] 

  Basil Fawlty : [yelling after them]  You snobs! You stupid... stuck-up... toffee-nosed... half-witted... upper-class piles of... pus!

• Basil Fawlty : Your NAME, please. Could I have your name?

  Lord Melbury : Melbury.

  [the phone rings; Basil picks it up] 

  Basil Fawlty : [to Melbury]  One second, please.

  Basil Fawlty : [to phone]  Hello?... Ah, yes, Mr. O'Reilly. Well, it's perfectly simple. Ah, when I asked you to build me a wall, I was rather hoping that instead of just, uh, dumping the bricks in a pile you might have found time to cement them together, you know, one on top of the other in the traditional fashion.

  Basil Fawlty : [to Melbury, testily]  Could you fill it in, please?

  Basil Fawlty : [to phone]  Oh, splendid! Ah, yes-yes-yes, ah, but WHEN, Mr O'Reilly?

  Basil Fawlty : [to Melbury, who is having difficulty with the register]  There-there-there!

  Basil Fawlty : [to phone]  Yes-yes-yes, but when? Yes, yes... yes, yes... ah!... the flu! Yes.

  Basil Fawlty : [to Melbury]  BOTH names, please.

  Basil Fawlty : [to phone]  Yes, I should have guessed, Mr. O'Reilly. That and the potato famine I suppose.

  Lord Melbury : I beg your pardon?

  Basil Fawlty : Would you put BOTH your names, please?

  Basil Fawlty : [to phone]  Well, will you give me a DATE?

  Lord Melbury : Er... I only use one.

  Basil Fawlty : [with a withering look]  You don't have a first name?

  Lord Melbury : No, I am Lord Melbury, so I simply sign "Melbury".

  [there is a long, long pause] 

  Basil Fawlty : [to phone]  Go away.

  Basil Fawlty : [puts phone down]  I'm SO sorry to have kept you waiting, your lordship. I DO apologize. Please, please, accept my forgiveness. Now, is there something, ah, something, anything, that I can do for you? Anything at all?

• Sybil Fawlty : Don't forget the picture, Basil.

  Basil Fawlty : I won't dear, leave it to me.

  Sybil Fawlty : I'm going out now. I expect it to be up when I get back.

  Basil Fawlty : Drive carefully, dear...

• Basil Fawlty : Thank you, dear. Thank you so much. I don't know where I'd be without you - Land of the Living, probably.

• Basil Fawlty : ...Arh, Lord Melbury. May I introduce my wife?

  Lord Melbury : Yes, we have meet.

  Basil Fawlty : My wife, may I introduce your lordship.

  Sybil Fawlty : Thank you, Basil, we've sorted it out.

  Basil Fawlty : Splendid, splendid.

• Sybil Fawlty : What are you doing?

  Basil Fawlty : I'm kissing you, dear.

  Sybil Fawlty : Well, don't.

• Basil Fawlty : Ah, good evening, Major.

  Major Gowen : Evening, Fawlty.

  Basil Fawlty : The usual?

  Major Gowen : [looking at his watch]  Er... er... oh, why not, indeed, why not?

• Danny Brown : Oh, 'allo. Can I have some wine please?

  Basil Fawlty : The waiter is busy, sir, but I will bring you the carte des vin when I have finished attending to this gentleman.

  Danny Brown : Oh, fine - no hurry.

  Basil Fawlty : Oh, good, how nice, how very thoughtful...

• Basil Fawlty : Well, I'd better put the picture up... Oh... thank you Polly for the... well done, Manuel.

  Manuel : Qué?

  Basil Fawlty : Oh... Olé.

• Basil Fawlty : Your lordship, may I offer you a little aperitif... as our guest?

  Lord Melbury : That's very kind of you... dry sherry if you please.

  Basil Fawlty : [to the Major]  What else? Such... oh, I don't know what...

  Major Gowen : Je ne sais quoi?

  Basil Fawlty : Exactly! Exactly!

• Basil Fawlty : Sybil, look! If we can attract this class of customer, I mean, the sky's the limit!

  Sybil Fawlty : Basil, 22 rooms is the limit!

• Basil Fawlty : My dear woman, Sir Richard and Lady Morris, arriving this evening. For two nights. You see, they saw our advertisement in Country Life.

  Sybil Fawlty : I wish they were staying a week.

  Basil Fawlty : Well, so do I.

  Sybil Fawlty : Might pay for the ad then.

• Basil Fawlty : I mean, have you seen the people in room six? They've never even sat on chairs before. They are the commonest, vulgarest, most...

• Sybil Fawlty : Well, I've never seen such tatty cases.

  Basil Fawlty : Of course you haven't. It's only the true upper class that would have tat like that. It's the whole point!

• Basil Fawlty : Now, about my priceless collection of coins?

  Lord Melbury : Oh, yes, ah, do you still...

  Basil Fawlty : Do I still want you to take them to be valued by the Duke of Buckleigh, milord?

  Lord Melbury : Ah, yes.

  Basil Fawlty : No, I don't. Because we've just heard that the Duke of Buckleigh is dead! Yes, got his head knocked off by a golf ball. Tragic! Tragic!