Fawlty Towers (TV Series)
The Germans (1975)
Connie Booth: Polly Sherman
Quotes
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[Basil's constant mention of World War II has reduced a German girl to tears, so he decides to cheer her up with a Hitler imitation]
Basil Fawlty : Look, she'll love it! She's German!
[Basil almost holds a finger underneath his nose]
Polly Shearman : [recognizing what's to come, with horror] NO, Mr. Fawlty!
Basil Fawlty : What?
Polly Shearman : Do Jimmy Cagney instead!
Basil Fawlty : What?
Polly Shearman : Jimmy Cagney!
Basil Fawlty : Jimmy Cagney?
Polly Shearman : You know! "You dirty rat!"
Basil Fawlty : I can't do Jimmy Cagney!
Polly Shearman : Oh, please try! "I'm gonna get you..."
Basil Fawlty : Shut up!
Basil Fawlty : [to the Germans] Here, watch. Who's this then?
[He holds a finger underneath his nose and shouts in mock German, which makes the German girl cry even more]
Basil Fawlty : OK, I'll do the funny walk!
[Basil goose-steps into the lobby and back, all the while chanting in mock German]
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Basil Fawlty : Polly, what's that smell?
Polly Shearman : Flowers. I just got them from the garden.
Basil Fawlty : Well, what are you stinking the place up with those for? What's happened to the plastic ones?
Polly Shearman : Being ironed.
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Basil Fawlty : [nailing the moose head to the wall] There, tell the Tyrant Queen her cardies are safe forever. Mr Moose is up. It's done, done, done!
Polly Shearman : It's up.
[the moose head falls off and hits Basil on the head in the process]
Polly Shearman : It's down again.
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Major Gowen : I hate Germans! I love women.
Polly Sherman : What about German women?
Major Gowen : Good card players.
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Mrs. Wilson : [after Basil has explained that the earlier bell was the burglar alarm, not the fire bell] Look, how on earth can you expect us to tell which bell is which?
[Basil sighs in exasperation]
Mrs. Wilson : We haven't heard them yet, have we?
[Looks round at the other guests]
Basil Fawlty : You want to hear them? Right, suits me! Here's the burglar alarm.
[Turns it on]
Major Gowen : Ought we to catch them first?
Basil Fawlty : There *aren't* any.
Major Gowen : Then why does the alarm keep going...
Basil Fawlty : [sighs] Alright, got that? Right.
[Turns the alarm off]
Mrs. Wilson : What's happening now?
Basil Fawlty : [Ignoring her] Now, here's the fire bell, right?
[Turns it on]
Basil Fawlty : It's a completely different sound, listen.
[the guests start to leave]
Basil Fawlty : Well, where are you going?
Mrs. Wilson : Well, there is a drill, isn't there?
Basil Fawlty : [Jumping up and down in exasperation] No, no, no-no-no! This is so you can hear the bell so you know in a moment when I *ring* the bell! What are you doing? Will you come back?
Two women : We're going outside.
Basil Fawlty : No! Look, just listen to it, you old fools!
Two women : What?
Basil Fawlty : Listen to it!
[Manuel enters, gesturing frantically]
Manuel : Fire, fire, everybody out, please...
Basil Fawlty : NO!
[Manuel continues to herd everyone out]
Basil Fawlty : Will you shut up?
Manuel : Out...
Basil Fawlty : [shouting over him] Look, will you shut up?
Manuel : Is fire...
Basil Fawlty : Is *not* fire, is only bell!
[Manuel continues to protest. Polly start to head upstairs]
Basil Fawlty : Where are *you* going?
Polly Shearman : Upstairs.
Polly Shearman : There isn't a drill yet! I'm just showing them what the bell sounds like!