Fawlty Towers (TV Series)

The Hotel Inspectors (1975)

James Cossins: Mr. Walt

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mr. Hutchinson : Yeah, well, I thought it said Boff.

  Basil Fawlty : Of course.

  Mr. Hutchinson : Yes, and I thought that Boff was a locale, you see, a name of a district, you see, 'cause that 'P' looks like a 'B.'

  Basil Fawlty : No, it doesn't.

  Mr. Hutchinson : Yes, it does. The little loop on the bottom of it...

  Basil Fawlty : [snatching the diagram and showing it to Walt]  Excuse me - would you say that was a 'P' or a 'B'?

  Mr. Walt : Er...

  Basil Fawlty : There, does it say Boff or does it say Poff?

  Mr. Walt : Well, I...

  Basil Fawlty : There, there! It's a 'P', isn't it?

  Mr. Walt : [unwillingly]  I suppose so.

  Basil Fawlty : P. Off.

  Mr. Walt : I beg your pardon?

  Basil Fawlty : P off! not B. off. Whoever heard of a Bost office?

• Basil Fawlty : It's always a pleasure to find someone who appreciates the boudoir of the grape. I'm afraid most of the people we get in here don't know a Bordeaux from a claret.

  Mr. Walt : A bordeaux *is* a claret.

  Basil Fawlty : What? Oh, *Bordeaux* is a claret, yes, but they wouldn't know that.

• [being moved to another table a second time] 

  Mr. Walt : Look, I did ask the waiter!

  Basil Fawlty : Well, he's hopeless, isn't he? Might as well ask the cat.

• Basil Fawlty : The casserole was really good, was it?

  Mr. Walt : Well... it was adequate.

• Mr. Walt : [after tasting some wine]  I'm afraid this is corked.

  Basil Fawlty : I just uncorked it. Didn't you see me?

  Mr. Walt : What?

  Basil Fawlty : Look.

  Mr. Walt : No, no.

  Basil Fawlty : No, you see, I took it out of the bottle. That's how I managed to get the wine out of the bottle into your glass.

  Mr. Walt : I don't mean that. I mean the wine is corked. The wine has reacted with the cork.

  Basil Fawlty : I'm sorry?

  Mr. Walt : The wine has reacted with the cork and gone bad.

• Basil Fawlty : Incidentally, I don't know if you realize, but he's a regular customer of ours. Oh, he loves it here. It's his second home. It's just that we always have to have this little...

  [Basil makes a gesture to indicate fighting] 

  Basil Fawlty : I don't know why, but he seems to like it.

  Mr. Walt : Really?

  Basil Fawlty : Yes. The only danger is that somebody is going to think that he really isn't satisfied about something, or the fighting's real, you know, and tell somebody. You won't mention it, will you?

• Basil Fawlty : All right. Fifty pounds, then.

  Mr. Walt : Beg your pardon?

  Basil Fawlty : Fifty pounds not to mention it.

  Mr. Walt : Fifty pounds?

  Basil Fawlty : So, sixty not to write about it. You know, articles, books, letters.

  Mr. Walt : I'm afraid I really don't...

  Basil Fawlty : Oh, please! It's taken us twelve years to build this place up. Don't put this in the book. We're finished if you... Please don't.

  Mr. Walt : Book? What book?

  Basil Fawlty : The hotel guide. Oh, sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned it. Oh, what have I done?

  Mr. Walt : You've got me confused with someone else. I've... I've nothing to do with any hotel guide. I'm down here for the exhibition. I sell outboard motors.