Frasier (TV Series)

Don't Go Breaking My Heart (2002)

David Hyde Pierce: Dr. Niles Crane

Quotes 

• Dr. Niles Crane : Did you hear what the conductor did to the Andante? I just hope he bought it dinner first.

• Martin Crane : Don't need to explain to me, son. I know what it's like to cheat death.

  Dr. Niles Crane : That's true, although I think I got a little closer than you did.

  Martin Crane : Oh, really? Well, let's see. I got shot by a gun, and you ate a bunch of cheese.

  Dr. Niles Crane : I was clinically dead for several minutes. I looked Death square in the eye.

  Martin Crane : Well, you might have looked him in the eye, but I shook his hand.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Really. Well I kissed him on the cheek.

  Martin Crane : Well, I kissed him on the lips. Also, Death was a girl.

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Hello, God, it's me again. Dr. Frasier Crane. Listen, it seems that when we made our little arrangement, there was another deal in place. Now, I've had some experience with double-booking, and I know that the person who books first always gets priority. So, as long as Daphne keeps her end - which she is, to the letter - it seems our little arrangement would be rendered null and void. Ergo, I am now going to yell at my brother. Unless of course, you give me a sign.

  [silence] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Very well, then.

  [laughs] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : This is going to be sweet.

  [the elevator doors open, and he sees Niles standing there] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [furiously]  Niles!

  Dr. Niles Crane : There you are! You're forty minutes late. Well, no matter, I have more important things to do.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Not so fast, Mister! You, sir, have been insufferable for the past few weeks. It might enlighten you to know that your endless preaching has been nothing more than a thin cover for your fear...

  Dr. Niles Crane : Yes, I know. I know, I know. Dad just told me, and he was right. I've been an ass lately. I am really sorry, but I have to go. My wife is waiting for me.

  [He steps onto the elevator and pushes the button] 

  Dr. Niles Crane : Frankly, Frasier, I'm surprised you didn't bring this up sooner.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : But...

  [the elevator doors close] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Huh... Well played, God.

• Daphne Moon : Are you all right?

  Dr. Niles Crane : Yes. I just jumped into bed with your mother.

  Daphne Moon : Oh, dear. No wonder she screamed.

  Dr. Niles Crane : That wasn't her.

• Dr. Niles Crane : I'm just, I'm easing into things until I'm back to normal.

  Martin Crane : The doctor says you're there.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Well, I'm just being extra cautious.

  Martin Crane : Sounds to me like you're afraid, son.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Well, what if I am? Haven't I earned the right to be afraid? I could have died.

  Martin Crane : I understand.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Okay.

• Dr. Niles Crane : Dad, I don't want to turn this into a competition. I'm just trying to embrace life to the fullest.

  Martin Crane : Oh, will you give it a rest!

  Dr. Niles Crane : Excuse me?

  Martin Crane : You haven't embraced a damn thing. All you're doing is yakking about feeling this and experiencing that. You're not doing anything. You won't go back to work or play squash or eat any of your favorite foods.

• Martin Crane : When I got out of the hospital, I was terrified to take a risk. I didn't want to leave the house. Ducked for cover every time a car backfired.

  Dr. Niles Crane : [pausing]  I know my fears aren't rational. I know my heart is sound. I feel fine. But I felt fine before this happened. How do I know that the same thing isn't going to...

  Martin Crane : Well, you don't know! That's exactly what I came to realize. Life's a crap shoot. We could all go at any time. That's why we have to make the most of whatever time we've got.

• Dr. Niles Crane : Thank you, Dad!

  Martin Crane : Where you going?

  Dr. Niles Crane : To live my life!

  Martin Crane : You forgot the rye flats.

  Dr. Niles Crane : [with a sense of awakening]  No, I didn't, Dad. No, I didn't.

  Martin Crane : Well, you're not leaving them here!

  [Niles, robbed of the touching moment, retrieves the rye flats] 

• Daphne Moon : [Niles mistakenly jumped into bed with Daphne's mother]  What were you doing in there?

  Dr. Niles Crane : I just... wanted to... take my wife into my arms and show her how much I love her.

  Daphne Moon : [excited]  Are you sure you're ready?

  Dr. Niles Crane : Trust me. If my heart can take that, it can take anything.