The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (TV Series)

I Know Why the Caged Bird Screams (1994)

Will Smith: Will Smith

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Quotes 

• Coach Kelly : [to Will]  What happened to Carlton?

  Will Smith : I think my Aunt Helen dropped him on his head when he was a baby.

• Will Smith : You know, it might serve them SCU punks right. Messing up the Peacock. I've been cleaning this place up all day.

  Jazz : You know, you're getting soft. The Will Smith I know wouldn't get mad. He'd get even.

  Will Smith : You know what, Jazz? Tonight, you and I will acquire a vehicle and we're going to acquire the SCU statue.

  Jazz : Swipe Mikey the Mustang? Now, why would I steal something I can't sell?

  Will Smith : Well, the Jazz I know didn't need a reason to do something stupid.

• Will Smith : Jazz, you fed me a bad tip, man. I might owe your bookie $500 that I don't have.

  Jazz : Tony the Shovel ain't gonna like that. Just ask Flat Nose Gary.

• Carlton Banks : Look, Will, I'm desperate. Take off your pants.

  Will Smith : I think you're taking this jail thing just a little too far, buddy.

• Will Smith : [to the football team]  I cannot believe what I'm seeing. Boo-hoo, our mascot ain't here. You big bunch of babies. What about your fans? They got a lot riding on this game. Their hopes, their dreams. Their nose. Hey, listen, I'm gonna tell y'all one time and one time only. Mascots do not win football games. Players do and coaches. Hey, you know what, you gentlemen got a choice. You can give up and crawl away like spineless, gutless losers or you can pull it together. Throw it down, pick it up, strap it on, kick its butt and go out as champions!

  Football Team : Yeah!

  Will Smith : This is the biggest game you will ever play.

  Will Smith : Yeah!

  Football Team : Now, sure, some of you may make it to the pros, but let's be honest, for most of you, this is the end of the line.

  Football Team : Yeah...

  Will Smith : No more big games, no more free rides. No more honeys acting like you all that. Let's be honest. We don't even know if half you all are gonna graduate.

• Will Smith : Hey, Carlton, what was Coach Kelly talking to you about?

  Carlton Banks : Oh, he likes to consult with me before making important game decisions.

  Will Smith : So what's it gonna be: regular or grape-flavored Gatorade?

• Will Smith : [to Jazz]  Hey, did your bookie take my bet?

  Jazz : You down. Five C's on ULA.

  Will Smith : You are the man. Who else could have found out that the Mustangs' starting quarterback has come down with the flu?

  Jazz : It pays to have friends at the urology lab.

• Carlton Banks : [to Will about the SCU statue]  Hey, what's that bucking Mustang doing here?

  Will Smith : Just a little payback to them SCU fools for that stunt they pulled yesterday. And you said I didn't have no school spirit.

  Carlton Banks : You must return it.

  Will Smith : Carlton, we're just having a little fun, man. I know how much you hate that, baby.

• Will Smith : [to Coach Kelly]  Coach, listen. You're sweating it over nothing. The game is a lock. We found out that the SCU starting quarterback came down with the Canadian flu.

  Coach Kelly : The Canadian flu? What the hell is that?

  Will Smith : I guess it's just like the American flu, just colder.

  Coach Kelly : Hogwash. Every year, SCU tries to put out some bogus rumor about one of its star players. Mess up our game plan. Last year, their kicker had rickets.