- Danny Tanner: [Jesse arranges a romantic trip for Danny and Claire] Is he the king of romance or what?
- Becky Katsopolis: [as he neglects their own plans] Oh he's a royal something alright.
- Becky Katsopolis: More flowers and candy? Mrs. Carruthers must love her men fat and fragrant.
- Jesse Katsopolis: She picked the right one.
- Danny Tanner: [wearing a tuxedo and backpack] How do I look?
- Joey Gladstone: Like you're going hiking with James Bond.
- Michelle Tanner: You could look into my eyes and say something nice about me.
- Teddy: [glares at her] You have a nice head.
- Teddy: Thank you, nice heads run in my family.
- Michelle Tanner: [about the school's Valentine's Day dance] This will be great, it'll be like MTV with a milk break.
- Lisa: Michelle, I heard you and Teddy broke up.
- Sophia: Did he break your heart?
- Michelle Tanner: I thought so, but it just turned out to be gas.
- Michelle Tanner: Boys, they won't buy you flowers.
- D.J. Tanner: They won't make a commitment.
- Kimmy Gibbler: They won't squat in Jell-o for you.
- [the others look at her]
- Kimmy Gibbler: Hey, don't knock it till you try it.
- Danny Tanner: I feel really bad, Jess, you spent so much time planning my night with Claire, you didn't have time to plan anything for yourselves.
- Jesse Katsopolis: Oh don't worry about us, we're an old married couple, just give us the remote, an Elvis movie on rerun and a straight path to the bathroom and we're as happy as a couple of raccoons in a Denny's dumpster.
- Becky Katsopolis: Raccoons in a dumpster?
- Jesse Katsopolis: Denny's.
- Becky Katsopolis: You have lost all romance. You went from Mr. Excitement to Mr. Rodgers!
- Danny Tanner: I got my shark repellent, emergency flares, and seasick patches.
- Becky Katsopolis: Yeah, nothing says romance like an anti-vomit tag behind your ear.