- D.J. Tanner: Strange but true facts: Stephanie and Michelle are the exact same ages Stephanie and I were when we first started sharing a room. Isn't that amazing?
- Joey Gladstone: That IS amazing. That's like Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln, and Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy!
- Jesse Katsopolis: [to Joey] What's amazing is you're able to dress yourself in the morning.
- Stephanie Tanner: I'm not sharing a room with this 4 year old kindergarten baby.
- Michelle Tanner: I'm 4 and 3 quarters!
- D.J. Tanner: [measuring Michelle's floor] Kimmy was right, there IS enough room for a hot tub in here.
- Stephanie Tanner: I've turned the bathtub into a water bed, the sink into a wet bar, and I'm thinking of turning the toilet into a loveseat.
- Danny Tanner: [enters the bathroom] Girls, what's going on?
- Michelle Tanner: Stephanie lives in the potty now.
- Danny Tanner: We'll see about that.
- Jesse Katsopolis: I had a feeling you might change your mind again, especially after the second time you paged me at the market. So I bought one of every chip they had, it's the pregnancy variety pack.
- Rebecca Katsopolis: Ooh, honey, did you get any with ridges?
- Jesse Katsopolis: Ridges? What's the deal with ridges? It's like a potato chip you have to iron.
- Danny Tanner: I do impressions too. "Stop chasing me, ya mean cat!"
- Lisa Green: That was great! *pause* Who was that?
- Danny Tanner: That was Tom. You know, the little mouse from Tom and Jerry.
- Joey Gladstone: Tom was the cat, Jerry was the mouse, and neither one of them ever talked.