- Jesse Katsopolis: All right, here we go!
- [starts Yankee Doodle auditions in a montage]
- Michelle Tanner: [singing nicely] Yankee Doodle went to town...
- Paul Revere: [off key] Riding on a po-ny...
- Aaron Bailey: [shouting] STUCK A FEATHER IN HIS HAT!
- Denise Frazer: And... ooh...
- Terri: [with pom-poms] Yankee Doodle, keep it up...
- Little Girl: [does nothing]
- Aaron Bailey: MIND THE MUSIC AND THE STEPS!
- Denise Frazer: ...and with the girls be handy!
- Little Girl: I never liked this song.