"Get Smart" And Only Two Ninety-Nine (TV Episode 1970) - Don Adams as Maxwell Smart

Larabee : Listen, Max, the twins can stay at our place for a few days. My wife would love taking care of them, and they'd have a lot of fun playing in the sand.

Maxwell Smart : You have a place at the beach, Larabee?

Larabee : No, but we have a very sandy apartment.

Maxwell Smart : [thinks for a moment] Thanks just the same, Larabee.

[starts dialing]

Larabee : Any time, Max.

[starts to leave]

Chief : Hold it, Larabee.

Larabee : Yeah, Chief?

Chief : You're not gonna get away with that one that easily.

Larabee : Which one?

Chief : Explain it to me, how you have a very sandy apartment.

Larabee : Oh, well, there's nothing to explain, Chief, we can't get the sand out because our vacuum cleaner's broken.

Chief : Larabee, if you don't live at the beach, how can you have all that sand in your apartment?

Larabee : Oh, well, we've been talking about moving to the beach and we wanted to see if we'd like it.

Chief : Thank you, Larabee.
Chief : Max, are you sure you and Larabee aren't related?

Maxwell Smart : You know, a lot of people have asked me that lately, Chief.
Chief : [Max is constantly falling down] Max, I think you're coming down with something.

Maxwell Smart : Yes, well, if I am, Chief, I'm coming down with it a lot.
Chief : [on phone in his office] 99 is in her bed?

Maxwell Smart : [on phone in bedroom] Well of course she's in her bed, where do you think she sleeps, in the closet?

Don Adams: Maxwell Smart