Get Smart (TV Series)

Bronzefinger (1966)

Don Adams: Maxwell Smart

Photos 

Quotes 

• Agent 99 : It's just that sometimes I wish you were just an ordinary businessman.

  Maxwell Smart : Well, 99, we are what we are. I'm a secret agent, trained to be cold, vicious, and savage. Not enough to be a businessman.

• Maxwell Smart : Boy, time really does fly. Do you realize, 99, that agent 54 will be 36 today? My gosh, it seems like only yesterday that 54 was 35.

• Bronzefinger : [86 and 99 are about to be bronzed]  Goodbye, Mr. Smart. I'll be back in 3 minutes after it's all over. You see I cannot bare to hear a woman crying.

  Maxwell Smart : How do you feel about a man screaming?

• Maxwell Smart : Would you believe that this painting has been compared to the works of Henri Matisse?

  Van Cleff : No.

  Maxwell Smart : Would you believe Michelangelo?

  Maxwell Smart : [Van Cleft does not reply]  How 'bout Charlton Heston?

• Maxwell Smart : I'll catch the thief who stole those paintings, or die in the attempt.

  Van Cleff : Can you do... both?

• Maxwell Smart : I've got to get out of here. I've got a appointment in the restoring room.

  Agent 13 : You're not seeing my little Dutch girl, are ya?

  Maxwell Smart : Don't be ridiculous, of course not. My date is with Bronzefinger.

• Bronzefinger : No, Mr Smart, it was none of them You see, I am...

  [takes off his glove to reveal a bronze thumb] 

  Maxwell Smart : Bronzethumb!

  Bronzefinger : Bronzefinger! A thumb is also a finger.

• # 99 : I wonder what Bronzefinger would have done with us, Max?

  Maxwell Smart : Well, he probably would have sold us to some public park. Just think of it, 99, there we would have been, two bronze statues giving pleasure to thousands.

  # 99 : Thousands of art lovers?

  Maxwell Smart : No, thousands of pigeons.

• Maxwell Smart : [Max opens the Chief's wall safe]  What's 13 doing in there?

  Agent 13 : The Chief said I've been out on field trips too long. So he gave me this nice, soft office job.

  Maxwell Smart : It's awfully small. Tell me, 13, how did you get in there?

  Agent 13 : The Chief gave me the combination.