Quotes
-
KAOS Agent : I'm a sportsman. I'll let you pick the way you wanna die.
Maxwell Smart : Oh. Ok, eh, how about old age?
-
Waiter : Never fear, for Allah is with me.
Maxwell Smart : Well, I wonder if you would ask Allah to bring the drinks over, we'd like to get something going here.
-
Maxwell Smart : The old Chief in the brown beard and wig trick!
-
# 99 : Oh Max, the funeral of a double agent is a sad thing.
Maxwell Smart : Yes, particularly in this case. Johan was working for both KAOS and Control. Now part of him is up there and part of him is down there.
-
Maxwell Smart : Wait a minute, 99, atrocities, cruelties and brutalities. the thing that we feared for so long has finally come to pass.
Chief : What's that, Max?
Maxwell Smart : ACB, the third spy network.
-
Maxwell Smart : What is your usual cover anyway?
Samuels : Would you believe a Jewish song and dance man?
-
Maxwell Smart : Well, what can I do for you, Miss, eh...
Tamara : Tamara.
Maxwell Smart : Tomorrow? I thought you wanted to talk to me today?
Tamara : I do. My name is Tamara. I'm a dancer.
Maxwell Smart : Oh, well I'm sorry, we're not hiring any dancers today, Tamara.
-
Tamara : Tahday is supposed to go to the club Tonight. To defect, or die.
Maxwell Smart : And you want me to help you?
Tamara : Yes, you must come to the club Tonight and save Tahday.
Maxwell Smart : Alright, I'll come to the club tonight. What time tonight?
Tamara : Not tonight, today! The name of the club is the club Tonight.
-
Samuels : When the chick spots Kubacheck, she'll go into the dance of the seven veils.
Maxwell Smart : The seven veils, huh?
Samuels : If Kubacheck sits at table one, she'll take off one veil. If he's at table two she'll take off two veils and so on, through the tables, three, four...
Samuels , Maxwell Smart : ...five and six.
Maxwell Smart : Eh, what if he goes to table seven?
Samuels : The cops come in and close the place down.
-
# 99 : [Tamara has been shot] Is she?
Maxwell Smart : Yes 99, there's no Tamara.
