- Hester Van Hooten: Who was it, Hogarth?
- Hogarth: Two lost and weary travelers, whose car broke down in the storm.
- Hester Van Hooten: What did they want?
- Hogarth: Food and shelter. I turned them away.
- Hester Van Hooten: Well done, Hogarth.
- Hogarth: Thank you, Ma'am
- Hester Van Hooten: And Hogarth?
- Hogarth: Yes, Ma'am?
- Hester Van Hooten: First thing in the morning, let's get rid of that welcome mat out front.
- Jason Van Hooten: Did you call her '99'?
- Maxwell Smart: Yes I did.
- Jason Van Hooten: May I ask why?
- Maxwell Smart: I don't know her name.
- Maxwell Smart: I don't understand how this airline can stay in business when they only carry one passenger.
- Stewardess: We don't show movies.
- Jason Van Hooten: They must never learn the secret of this house. Tonight, when they're both asleep, let's let Sebastian out of his room.
- Hester Van Hooten: No. You know my orders, Sebastian never leaves his attic. Except on Christmas morning. After we've opened our gifts, he gets to eat the tree.
- Agent 99: It looks like he died of fright.
- Maxwell Smart: Either that or some other natural cause.
- Jason Van Hooten: Sebastian...
- Hester Van Hooten: Don't tell me he's loose.
- Jason Van Hooten: [checks Sebastian's attic door, which has a hole in it] He's loose.
- Hester Van Hooten: I asked you not to tell me that!
- Hogarth: Yes, it was me. I hated Rebecca, and I hated Hester. And as you can see, I wasn't too crazy about Sebastian, either. And as for Jason, he's a thief, a liar and a blackmailer. But he's my brother and I'm proud of him.