- Capt. Daniel Gregg: [at the prospect of Harvey sleeping in his alcove] If he snores, I'll slit his blasted throat.
- Gladys Zimmerman: Harvey, you're not wearing a shirt.
- Harvey Dillman: Well, Gladys, you've seen me at the beach without a shirt.
- Gladys Zimmerman: Burt, Harvey, I've never seen you without a shirt INDOORS.
- Claymore Gregg: [as an emergency Justice of the Peace] I don't usually make house calls you know, and-and at this hour of the night I should at least be paid time and a half.
- Capt. Daniel Gregg: Stand over there.
- Claymore Gregg: And I'd rather not be paid in gold-gold doubloons, either. The last time, I got some very strange looks at the bank.
- [last lines]
- Gladys Zimmerman: [now in daylight and married] Harvey, I don't know why I was so silly last night. It's... it's just a nice, normal house. There's nothing to be frightened of at all.
- [hit suddenly by rice thrown from the side where no one is standing]
- Harvey Dillman: [nervously] Let's go, Gladys.
- Capt. Daniel Gregg: I need a minister.
- Claymore Gregg: Oh, you want to confess your sins.
- Capt. Daniel Gregg: No, you nincompoop! There are two young people staying at the house that I want married at once.
- Carolyn Muir: Look, while I fix the bedroom, will you put the foldaway in the alcove?
- Martha Grant: Oh, sure, then after that I'll put out the no vacancy sign. We're all filled up.
- Capt. Daniel Gregg: For a hundred years I've been master here, living a quiet and peaceful life, and now... Oh, if only these were the old days and I had those two young fools aboard my ship.
- Carolyn Muir: What would you do, make them walk the plank?
- Capt. Daniel Gregg: No, I'd marry them and put an end to this nonsense, then they could both sleep in the spare room and I could work in peace.
- Gladys Zimmerman: [at Gull Cottage on a dark and stormy night] Oh, Harvey, this place is creepy. I mean, we're just stuck out in the middle of nowhere.
- Harvey Dillman: [amused] Yeah, it is, isn't it, like one of those old horror movies where the young couple comes up to the old, deserted house on a dark, stormy night? Oooooo... .
- Gladys Zimmerman: Oh, Harvey, don't!
- Harvey Dillman: Wouldn't it be funny if the door just opened all by itself and there was nobody there?
- Gladys Zimmerman: Harvey, please.
- [suddenly, the door creaks opens all by itself with nobody there]
- Carolyn Muir: Please lower your voice.
- Capt. Daniel Gregg: Why? No one can hear me except you... unless I wish it.