- Rory Gilmore: One of them, a married man, had a long conversation with, how shall I put this delicately? A woman of less than reputable nature.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Hmm... do hookers charge to let you talk to them?
- Rory Gilmore: Depends on what they're doing when they're talking to you.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Jason, this is my daughter, Rory. Rory, Jason.
- Rory Gilmore: Right, Scooper!
- Lorelai Gilmore: Digger.
- Rory Gilmore: Sorry, Digger.
- Jason Stiles: It's nice to meet you. And I don't really go by Digger anymore.
- Lorelai Gilmore: What is it, P. Digger now?
- Jason Stiles: Hey, did you get any flowers lately?
- Lorelai Gilmore: Uh, several times. Apparantly I have a secret admirer.
- Jason Stiles: I signed all the cards "Jason".
- Lorelai Gilmore: I thought it was Jason Priestley!
- Jason Stiles: You're disappointed.
- Lorelai Gilmore: No, I just wish I hadn't slept with Jason Priestley.
- Rory Gilmore: Let's not make each other feel bad.
- Paris Geller: Hey, hug a dolphin another day alright?
- Rory: [Rory and Paris walk into the common room] Fun stuff, huh, guys?
- Janet Billings: Yeah, it's ridiculous.
- Tana Schrick: I may have been here when it happened.
- Janet Billings: And you heard nothing?
- Tana Schrick: No.
- Paris: Way to have that radar up.
- Rory: Let's not make each other feel bad.
- Paris: Hey, hug a dolphin another day, all right? We need to rev up the gunships and retaliate before the next strike. We gotta go full-out Sharon.
- Rory Gilmore: Oh, I've always wanted to see the Atlantic City boardwalk.
- Emily Gilmore: I'll save you a trip. Tip an overflowing trash can on your front porch and walk up and down on it.
- Bruce: Did you talk baby talk to Davey?
- Lorelai Gilmore: Yes.
- Bruce: Every second, Davey's brain is hard wiring for life, baby talk can retard list language acquisition rate, is that what you want?
- Lorelai Gilmore: Definitely not, I want him fully tarded.