- Amanda: [she and Candice find Shelley passed out with food wrappers all around her] Oh, my God, she's pigged out!
- [Shelley runs to the tanning bedroom with her fur coat]
- Candice: [sees the receptionist] Excuse me, have you seen a redheaded wreck anywhere?
- Receptionist: No.
- [the receptionist sees Shelley pigging out in the room]
- Receptionist: [screams] AAAAAHHHH! Get her out, it's disgusting, get her out! That's breaking all the house rules!
- Candice: [sees this] Shell!
- Receptionist: I'm sorry, we don't allow cholesterol in this club! Shelley, you're banned!
- Shelley: [storms in the room, totally depressed] Okay, crisis! There's been a burglary in the fridge! I had TWELVE cans of Single-Cal in there, and now I have ELEVEN! And it wouldn't take Kojak to figure out who's the hoover of the eats world around here, Amanda!
- Amanda: Excuse me, is that an official accusation? I mean, are you calling me a thief? Because all property is theft in my book, Shelley. Well, it's not my book, I mean, it's the people's book...
- Shelley: Okay, spill, Amanda!
- Amanda: Look, Shelley, I would not drink something that has been scientifically proven to KILL laboratory rats!
- Shelley: [yells] It has one calorie, lay off!
- Candice: [yells sarcastically, American accent] IT HAS ONE CALORIE, LAY OFF!
- Shelley: [loses it] THAT'S IT! I am SICK of hearing my accent vandalized around here! I have trained my resonators to sound like this! THIS IS STANDARD BBC QUEEN'S TONGUE ENGLISH! OKAY!
- [Amanda and Candice cover their ears from her screaming as Shelley bolts into her bedroom]