- Man in Heaven: We're getting a televangelist and quite frankly, I'm excited.
- Sophia Petrillo: How come?
- Man in Heaven: We've never had one here before.
- Sophia Petrillo: Heaven Heaven? I went straight to Heaven? No stops, no purgatory?
- Man in Heaven: Purgatory?
- [laughs]
- Man in Heaven: Oh, you Catholics!
- Blanche Devereaux: I can go days without food, weeks if that's what it takes.
- Rose Nylund: Oh come on, Blanche, you've been known to debone a chicken from across the room!
- Sophia Petrillo: I was living for the day!
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: You were MOONING a chain gang!
- Sophia Petrillo: And did you see the looks on their faces? They probably haven't seen a woman in years.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Come to think of it, they did keep up through four warning shots.
- Rose Nylund: [after Dorothy pretends to be the voice of Blanche's dead grammy] Feets don't fail me now!
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: [trying to get Blanche to come downstairs] You were right, Blanche! These naked southern guys sure can dance!
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Blanche, what're you doing?
- Blanche Devereaux: [handcuffs herself to the radiator] If they're going to BLOW this place up they're gonna do it with ME in it!
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: [looks out the window, and up] Ma! Ma, what're you doing?
- Sophia Petrillo: Just living for the day, pussycat! I never jumped into a haystack before!
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Ma!
- Sophia Petrillo: Geronimo!
- [jumps off the ledge]
- Blanche Devereaux: Is she okay?
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Yeah I think so, Rose broke her fall. ROSE, are you alright?
- Rose Nylund: Charlie? Charlie is that you?
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Oh great! ANOTHER one who hears voices!
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: How long do you think you can stay handcuffed?
- Blanche Devereaux: My personal best is 38 hours... of course then I had somebody to play with.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: I want you to rail against it, Ma.
- Sophia Petrillo: I said I wasn't afraid to die anymore, I didn't say I was ready to die. You don't have to believe this, Pussycat, but stop trying to take it away from me.