The Golden Girls (TV Series)

Yes, We Have No Havanas (1988)

Estelle Getty: Sophia Petrillo

Photos 

Quotes 

• Fidel Santiago : Blanche was right. She said you were incorrigible!

  Sophia Petrillo : I guess I deserve it - I always say she's a cheap slut!

• Blanche : Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take a long, hot, steamy bath, with just enough water to barely cover my perky bosoms.

  Sophia Petrillo : You're only gonna sit in an inch of water?

• Blanche : Blanche Devereaux has never shared a man!

  Sophia Petrillo : Or a pizza.

• Blanche : Is this dress me?

  Sophia Petrillo : It's too tight, it's too short, it shows too much cleavage for a woman your age.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Yes Blanche, it's you.

• Rose Nylund : Girls! Girls, guess what?

  Sophia Petrillo : What a minute! Wait a minute! Why do you always come into a room and say, "Girls, girls"? Do you see Molly Ringwald sitting here?

  Rose Nylund : Well, you're awfully cranky today.

  Sophia Petrillo : Well, forgive me. My arthritis is bothering me, my social security check was late, and I realized today I haven't showered with a man in 22 years!

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Ma, Pop's been dead 27 years.

  Sophia Petrillo : What's your point?

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : What are you saying?

  Rose Nylund : Well, isn't it obvious, Dorothy? She showered with a dead man for five years!

• Rose Nylund : I got two tickets to the hottest Norwegian musical in town!

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Rose, you've really tempted me, but I do have other plans.

  Rose Nylund : You have a date.

  Sophia Petrillo : [Choking on a cookie]  Never say that while I'm eating!

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : I'm teaching history for an adult education program. It's for people who never got their high school diplomas.

  Rose Nylund : What else do they teach?

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Oh, the usual high school subjects.

  Rose Nylund : You mean, like the three Rs? Reading, Writing, and Rooster inseminating?

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : No, we just teach the first two Rs, Rose.

  Rose Nylund : Fine! But you're gonna be sending people out into the world who don't know, you can get a nasty rooster bite if you don't warm your hands up first!

• [last lines] 

  Blanche : You know, if I had it all to do over again, I'd let you have Fidel.

  Sophia Petrillo : Oh, you're so generous! The man's packing material, now you're letting me have him? I have coat racks livelier than him!

  [announcing to the whole congregation as she begins to leave] 

  Sophia Petrillo : She's giving him to me. The man's face has more powder on it than Ann Miller's and she's giving him to me. A piece of lumber would make a better dancing partner! Thanks for niente!

• Rose Nylund : [proudly]  Sophia, I'm a high school graduate!

  Sophia Petrillo : Congratulations. Now you can get any job involving a cardboard hat.