- Sgt. Don Roberts: Lieutenant? I've got a set of probabilities now if you want 'em.
- Lt. K.C. Trench: And if I don't?
- [Roberts looks confused]
- Lt. K.C. Trench: Go on, Roberts.
- [Roberts hesitates... indicating Harry]
- Lt. K.C. Trench: Go ahead. He won't believe you anyway.
- Sgt. Don Roberts: Well, the mark on the hood is recent. Could have been caused by hitting somebody.
- [Harry makes a sound of disbelief]
- Sgt. Don Roberts: The stain on the carpeting? It's uh... it's what we thought it was.
- Harry Orwell: [spells out the letters] B L O O D ?
- Lt. K.C. Trench: Ignore him. Just let me know if it matches up with the blood smear on the grass.
- Sgt. Don Roberts: I found this stuffed up under the front seat.
- Lt. K.C. Trench: [Takes the scarf from Roberts and holds it up] L N... Now what do you suppose that stands for, Orwell?
- Harry Orwell: [Shrugs] Long neck?
- Lt. K.C. Trench: No.
- Harry Orwell: Lynn Northrup?
- Lt. K.C. Trench: Too obvious. Lester Newton Hodges.
- Harry Orwell: No H.
- Sgt. Don Roberts: No it's a woman's scarf.
- Lt. K.C. Trench: Hodges is a transvestite.
- Harry Orwell: It's a possibility.
- Sgt. Don Roberts: That's it!
- Lt. K.C. Trench: That is not it.
- [Roberts shakes his head, looking worried. Trench puts his arm around Roberts and leads him away]
- Lt. K.C. Trench: Roberts, come here.
- Barbara Manush: Oh the Larrabee estate.
- Harry Orwell: Where's that?
- Barbara Manush: Oh that's up on one of the canyons. Old Larrabee was an eccentric millionaire way back in the 1920s. He built a mansion and he imported old statuary, and young girls, and exotic trees.
- Harry Orwell: Sounds like my kind of guy.
- Harry Orwell: Old man Larrabee may have been an eccentric but he must have given great parties. If you listened hard and you gave your imagination a little play, you could still hear the sounds of revelry.
- Harry Orwell: There'll be others.
- Judy: No, there won't be others.
- Harry Orwell: Oh, that's right, cause you fixed it.
- Judy: Yes, I fixed it.
- Harry Orwell: You fixed it by framing Lester.
- Judy: What?
- Harry Orwell: By framing Lester, it was *his* car that ran over Lynn Northrup! The pictures were in *his* files! You really fixed him, didn't you?
- Judy: That's a terrible, horrible thing to say. No, I didn't!
- Harry Orwell: If you can't have him, nobody can have him?
- Judy: He's *my* husband!
- Harry Orwell: That's a fantasyland! The loss of virginity is *not* a marriage!
- Harry Orwell: SPOILER: You're sort of a prude, aren't you, Judy?
- Judy: What?
- Harry Orwell: You killed two girls. You ripped their clothes off. You made it look like a psycho. And then you covered them up.
- Judy: They looked indecent.
- Harry Orwell: That's how murdered people look, Judy.
- Harry Orwell: [voiceover] The first time I ever saw Lester Hodges he was smiling. Considering that he was in a police station as a suspect of a possible homicide, I didn't know what he had to smile about. When I got to know him better, I realized Lester was listening to music the rest of us never hear.
- Sue Ingham: It might help if you talk about it, Harry.
- Harry Orwell: Naw, it wouldn't help.
- Sue Ingham: I hate to see you this way when I don't know what's the matter with you.
- Harry Orwell: Well, somebody did something rotten to a girl and I feel like I ought to do something about it, but I don't know what to do about it.
- Sue Ingham: Why don't you beat him up?
- Harry Orwell: I thought of that.
- Lester Hodges: Mother always wanted me to follow in the footsteps, but I guess nobody in the family made my kind of footsteps.
- Harry Orwell: Or you would have made plaster casts of them.
- Lester Hodges: That's very clever!
- Mrs. Hodges: Is it? What?
- Lester Hodges: It's an inside joke, mother.
- Mrs. Hodges: Well, I think it's very tasteless of you to be making jokes when that girl is lying dead in Los Angeles.
- Lester Hodges: Well, it wasn't my joke, mother.
- [indicates with a wave a suddenly abashed Harry]
- Harry Orwell: Well, I apologize for being callous.
- Mrs. Hodges: Well, you're a detective, Mr. Orwell. You can hardly help becoming so.
- [last lines]
- Harry Orwell: [voiceover] That's all I need: an assistant with two left feet who smiles in the wrong place.
- Lester Hodges: We could be just like Watson and Holmes. Spade and Archer. Batman and Robin. Can't you just see it, though? Hodges and Orwell.
- [Harry stops and turns to glare at Lester]
- Lester Hodges: Orwell and Hodges? Why, I think it'll be terrific. You know, we can go on cases together, solving crimes.
- Harry Orwell: [voiceover] Holmes and Watson, Spade and Archer, Batman and Robin, Orwell and Hodges. He left out Kato and the Green Hornet. Somehow I would have to convince Lester it wasn't such a fine idea. But not today, because he meant well. People like Lester always mean well. Trouble was, I liked him. Even with his weird smiles and all the other strange things, I liked him. That's the kind you gotta watch out for, you know?