- Col. Klink: [Weidler gestures for Klink to sit next to her] Thank you.
- Erika Weidler: I do not know myself. I have never done anything like this before. Everything I've ever been taught is wrong. Why does it feel so right?
- Col. Klink: Perhaps, uh, it's the chemistry.
- Erika Weidler: I won a fight against chemistry.
- Col. Klink: One merely surrenders through the inevitable.
- Erika Weidler: How frightening. There is just one thing that could spoil it all.
- Col. Klink: Nothing can spoil it.
- Erika Weidler: No, it is a personal thing, an eccentricity. I've tried, I cannot overcome it.
- Col. Klink: What is it?
- Erika Weidler: I must see you without your cap on.
- Col. Klink: You wouldn't just care to look at my profile?
- Erika Weidler: All my life, I've been emotionally crippled by this false, foolish idea of male beauty. Why am I unable to grow up? Take off your cap.
- Col. Klink: And your idea concerns hair?
- Erika Weidler: Yes, yes. I hate it. Why am I so foolish?
- Col. Klink: [Klink takes off his cap] My dear, dear young woman.
- [kisses Weidler]
- Col. Hogan: Hold it, General. The party who's challenged gets the choice of weapons.
- Carter: [as General von Weidler] That is true. But it is also true that I am a general and he is a colonel. I'm ordering him to choose sabers.
- Maj. Hochstetter: You are asking me to believe that the Führer is using Klink for a personal mission?