The Honeymooners (TV Series)

Oh, My Aching Back (1956)

Jackie Gleason: Ralph Kramden

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ed Norton : Hey, Ralph, what's the normal temperature, around 98, ain't it?

  Ralph Kramden : 98.6.

  Ed Norton : What would you say a bad temperature is?

  Ralph Kramden : Hundred and two, 103. What is it, Norton? What is my temperature?

  [Norton becomes shocked as he examines the thermometer; Ralph gets impatient] 

  Ralph Kramden : WHAT'S MY TEMPERATURE, NORTON?

  Ed Norton : [crying out]  A HUNDRED AND ELEVEN!

  Ralph Kramden : A hundred and eleven?

  Ed Norton : Why'd it have to be you? Prime of life!

• [Uncle Leo has heartily slapped Ralph on the back a few times, not realizing that he hurt his back; after Leo leaves, Ralph lets out a loud bellow of pain] 

  Alice Kramden : [worried]  Ralph, what happened?

  Ralph Kramden : Baby, nothing. I was just yawning.

  Alice Kramden : Yawning?

  Ralph Kramden : I'm tired.

  Alice Kramden : Sounded like feeding time at the zoo.

• Ralph Kramden : I asked you if you had any leftovers for last night's supper.

  Alice Kramden : Ralph, we're eating at my mother's.

  Ralph Kramden : I told you, I am not going to your mother's, I'm too tired, and I gotta get to bed early.

  Alice Kramden : You'll still get to bed early. We'll go to mother's, eat supper, and come right home.

  Ralph Kramden : Now, you know I'm not that kind of a man. I'm not the kind that eats and runs.

  Alice Kramden : Eats and runs? The way you eat, you're lucky you can walk!

  Ralph Kramden : Oh, if I wasn't tired, would you get yours!

• Ralph Kramden : [looking out the window]  Whoa! It certainly looks like rain tonight!

• Alice Kramden : Ralph, how could you do such a thing?

  Ralph Kramden : Homina homina homina homina homina.

• Ed Norton : Why don't you just put your foot down and say, "Alice, I'm going bowling!"?

  Ralph Kramden : Get a load of who's talkin'. How about the night that Trixie insisted that you go with her to her mother's house, the night we were gonna play pool?

  Ed Norton : Well we ended up playing pool, didn't we?

  Ralph Kramden : Yeah, you and me against Trixie and her mother.

  Ed Norton : [laughs]  I'll never forget that shellacking we took.